The Barrier Between Who I Am and Who I Want To Be
i'm in school now, waiting for the freaking SLOW time to pass. hope the teacher will release us at 4.15pm like he promised. i've even skip today's 4 hours of software engineering class in the morning as i was really very tired due to yesterday night soccer session, which eventually ended when we got chased away by the police. i feel like i've been skipping school so much. really got to change and improve alot of myself. anyway later still have to go my great grandma house first to help my primary school cousin on how to send an email for his school work. then i'll be going home to change and go to work!! arrgg.. the thought of working just simply makes me sick already. somemore i'm working with the quietest aunite in the company, it'll confirm be so damn boring with her around. she doesn't talk much and i just have to sit there patiently and wait for the pathetic 4 hours to pass. maybe catch a movie after work alone since my friends have been saying that "eye 10" is nice. if only got people to accompany me.
ok i've really decided to quit my job sooner or later, but i just don't know how to start or tell my manager about it. its like i'll feel so irresponisble, guilty or something. cause i just started working for a month plus only. its like how are they gonna think of me if i just like that quit? these things really stress me up. "to quit or not to quit?". i've longed for a job whatever i'm unemploy. but when i finally get employed, my mind is like wanting to work and don't want to . it just can't make up his mind. i work cause i need money but on the other hand, i'm too lazy to work hard for it. i'm such a plain lazy mother fucker. when working weekdays, i feel so tired and boring because of school. while on weekends, i just feel like enjoying myself and have fun. there just don't exist a single day in my life that could actually make me feel like working. if only money would fall from the sky. if only i was from a rich family. if only i struck 4d/toto. if only i have a sugar mommy. haa i feel like i have no future at all. all i need now in my life is plain freedom and more FUN! i wonder how am i gonna survive when i became a working man in the future. guess i'm not gonna think about that now. i'm too confuse to think of anything now. all these things suck, how i wish i was back in time when i was young and got nothing to stress about. also, school now isn't any good for me either. i'm alway lazy to get up for school. i hate exams, test, assignments, projects and other shits. i always feel like quiting school (i was saying that since i was in secondary schoo, haha). i even thought of not continuing poly after i graduate from ite. i just want holiday every now and then. maybe i should... all these emotions kept inside me can't wait to be burst out. arrgghh maybe i need an advisor or psychologist or something! I JUST NEED A BREAK!!
ok i've really decided to quit my job sooner or later, but i just don't know how to start or tell my manager about it. its like i'll feel so irresponisble, guilty or something. cause i just started working for a month plus only. its like how are they gonna think of me if i just like that quit? these things really stress me up. "to quit or not to quit?". i've longed for a job whatever i'm unemploy. but when i finally get employed, my mind is like wanting to work and don't want to . it just can't make up his mind. i work cause i need money but on the other hand, i'm too lazy to work hard for it. i'm such a plain lazy mother fucker. when working weekdays, i feel so tired and boring because of school. while on weekends, i just feel like enjoying myself and have fun. there just don't exist a single day in my life that could actually make me feel like working. if only money would fall from the sky. if only i was from a rich family. if only i struck 4d/toto. if only i have a sugar mommy. haa i feel like i have no future at all. all i need now in my life is plain freedom and more FUN! i wonder how am i gonna survive when i became a working man in the future. guess i'm not gonna think about that now. i'm too confuse to think of anything now. all these things suck, how i wish i was back in time when i was young and got nothing to stress about. also, school now isn't any good for me either. i'm alway lazy to get up for school. i hate exams, test, assignments, projects and other shits. i always feel like quiting school (i was saying that since i was in secondary schoo, haha). i even thought of not continuing poly after i graduate from ite. i just want holiday every now and then. maybe i should... all these emotions kept inside me can't wait to be burst out. arrgghh maybe i need an advisor or psychologist or something! I JUST NEED A BREAK!!