Symptoms of A Failing Heart

i've been so busy today. in the morning at 10.40, had to go my great-grandma house to fetch my primary 2 cousin as i'll be going shopping with him. he got first position in his final exams and so i've promise him i'll buy him something. we went to macdonald to have our first meal. he was a vegeterian and so, fries were all he ate. after the meal, we went to toy'r'us, isetan and then metro to find his "dream" toy. finally he saw something he really wants at metro, some mask rider toys but its was way over my budget (that costs 100+ bucks) so in the end, he bought a cheaper mask rider toy (35 bucks, doesn't seem that cheap to me either. haha). i'm sure he's satisfied cause its free anyway. haha. my mom who forgot to take her handphone to work, wanted me to bring it down to her at her workplace. so after buying the toy, took a cab to send my cousin home. he went upstairs himself and then i made my way to find my mom.

after giving my mom her phone, went to bedok mrt to wait for the few rowdians as we'll be heading to sim lim to buy mp3 for qingan for his birthday. actually its not us whose buying, but some subway colleagues of his. damn i wish i was working there. haha. after sometime of looking around, finally bought a Creative's 256MB Muvo Tx Fm for him at a cheap price. then we all headed to the airport's subway to find the other rowdians working there. had LOTSA food and drinks there for FREE. muahaha. then an hour or so of hanging around there waiting for people, we finally proceed to orchard to buy caps and stuffs. we've been like going to and fro, i was already so damn tired. in the end, mond bought a cap and ben bought a freaking mousepad with S.H.E picture on it. HAHA, thats lame. i actually wanted to buy a cap from image 2001 but it was too expensive and small. the atticus and other nice design caps i saw last time was gone. damn. at least i finally saw my MOST WANTED SHOE, Macbeth's London. but fuck, it cost 175 bucks!!! shibby price, think i rather go Malaysia to check it out instead. sooner or later, THAT SHOE IS MINE!! ok after our mini shopping spree, we eventualy head for home. i was already dead beat. mond and me went home first while the rest went 844 for their dinner.

alright now the BIG DAY is near!! for those who had no idea what the BIG DAY is, its our rowdee's chalet and its tomorrow!! muahaa. finally man. but i still haven't packed my bag yet so i'm gonna go do it now. ciao mother fuckers

HAIL TO FREEDOM!!! today is the end of my last exam paper! it was real easy for a last paper. muahaha. now i can totally enjoy my short 1 month holiday freely. but first, i need to get a job real quick or i'll be shortage of cash soon. after the paper, went to kfc with my classmates to have my lunch. ate alot and ended up a stomach-ache just after i finish eating. haha. made my way home straight after shitting. been home all day now doing nothing!!! fucking boredom is bothering me cause i've already completed my "Halflife 2" already and i need a new game! soon i'll be bring my xbox for some modification, then i can play "Halo 2"!! been waiting long for that. sad thing is, when i went down just now to the gameshop, it was closed. hope it doesn't get swept by the police or else theres no use modifying my xbox. now back to boredom, i've been home for the past few days!! luckily our rowdees' chalet is just around the corner, or to be exact, in 2 days time!! HELL YEAH!! i can't wait till that day comes.

oh ya, for those who have no idea. i just bought a mp3 player!! hahaha. it freakin' costed 273 bucks for a 256MB but its my dad who paid first. i still have to return him after i get my pay when i find a job. the name's Duny4 from a brand's called 'Dyne' and its from korea. cool. at first, i was planning to buy Creative's Muvo Tx Fm of 512 MB (256MB was out of stock) which costs 260 bucks but then the salesman recommend me this Duny4 because of its quality features and sound. so in the end, i bought it. i kinda feel regret at first as 256MB is rather small. haha but after some consideration, i still think its worth it. what more can i expect when i just need it to listen music only and i'm not the one whose paying YET. haha. just hope it doesn't cock up again like it did this morning, otherwise i have to reformat and insert songs in again. damn.

muahaha. just won 30 bucks yesterday from some soccer betting. so on friday, i'm gonna go collect my total winning amount of 40 bucks. to some of you, it may consider little but for me, its totally alot. anyway, today went to expo as theres some electronic sales/exhibition over there. don't really seems like a sale to me. haha. went to check out mostly mp3 and digital camera. the variety of mp3 are so many that i myself is so confuse of what to buy, theres just so many good brand out there. most probably i'm gonna buy the creative's muvo n200. but i'm still thinking hard of which one to buy. really need to check it out again soon as the exhibition is gonna end on sunday. im afraid i don't have the cash now so i think i'm asking it from my dad and then return him after i got a job. haha. hope he agrees. MOST OF ALL, whats best about the exhibition is that, THERE ARE SHOWGIRLS!! FREAKING HOT!!~ what a sight-seeing. hahaha. ok after the exhibition, went to cs to bring my faulty x70 for service. its gonna be back by around 2-4 weeks, sure is long. then went to 820 to have my first meal at 6pm. haha. cause albert says the western food there is quite worthy as they give a large portion plus its cheap. it sure is, so think i'm gonna go back there to eat again soon. but my throat ain't that well these days, theres alway blood. damn, must be due to the screaming. must try to control it or i'll lost my voice. that'll be fuck up.

what another boring day today... wish someone was there to accompany me. i've just wake up but i'm totally bored now already. maybe later gonna play my "Half-life 2" which i just bought yesterday. kinda regret actually, cause it costed me 20 bucks!! and it was rather laggy when i play it. i even have to put the resolution to shitty low standard otherwise it would have been worse. damn, really wasted my cash. argg.. anyway, yesterday engineering maths paper was better than i had expected. it was rather easy but i left quite a few careless mistake. hope i can still make it. still, the toughest paper would be next mon. i must work hard for it. now, think i'm gonna make myself some waffles or something. i'm like so HUNGRY!!

yesterday night went to eat macdonald with some rowdians (weitong, mond, jason, albert, hock, wenyan, bah geh and ah tai. while qingan, ben and meng joined us later) as jason won quite ALOT of money due to soccer betting and he'll be treating. sweet!~. i ate so much until i'm having sorethroat today. haha. also, see him win so much, in the end i also bet 25 bucks on Birmingham vs Blackburn. luckily won around 10 bucks yesterday. phew, could have won more actually cause Birmingham was leading 3-1 after the first half. don't know what the fuck they were doing on the second half. nevertheless, its little winnings but kinda make me alil addicted already, however i must control. just like what chinese people says, bet 10 times, lose 9 times.

anyway, today wake up rather early as someone sms and woke me up! muahaha. been doing nothing since i woke up man. just made myself 6 blueberry waffles with a syrup i bought. totally delicious!! after much frustration of boredom later on, i went to take a nap until now. once again, the boredom is coming... arggg.... damn, i still have engineering maths paper tommorrow!! really need to study soon. i don't wanna fail it. but the worse is next monday when i'm having my computer communication paper. so much things to memorise!!! hope i can manage cause i'm already in a HOLIDAY MOOD. haha. just wish the exams faster ends...

my birthday present  

my bro the botak with my mom 

from left: my grandma, mom, me and grandpa 

me and my 3 lil cousins, ah long (fat ass in the red shirt), ah chong (blue shirt) and ah hong (blue and red shirt). cool names aren't they. haha. 

a recap of what i did yesterday:
woke up real early for the sentosa trip but the rest were late as usual. haha. and i had to wait quite a while for them. then went to the new community centre first to buy some tibits and stuffs. headed our way to sentosa with a cab (so freakin' expensive) haa but no choice cause we're rather late already. went in directly into sentosa and had to pay an additional 2 bucks per person. damn, the total cab fare was around 23 bucks including the entrance fee. worse of all, on the way there, it already started to rain. damn. luckily when we reach there, the rain slowly stopped. but there was still no sun at all, so we couldn't suntanor anything. haha. in the end, play some vball with a couple of strangers, did some crazy shit in the water and on the sand. hahaha. fortunately, dillon was working there again and we lent these 2 water float from him which is so fun. thanks to him. after sometimes, the rain started to come and go. we found a shelter and was hiding/freezing in there everytime the rain comes back. we were all sticking together to keep ourselves warm cause it was so damn bloody freezing COLD. i even sacrifice my towel to cover us up which eventually got totally wet. haha. after the rain got really heavy, we decided it was time to head back.

went back to tampines to buy my belated birthday present but too bad the shop was closed. so had to postpon it to next week to buy i guess. then went to get our movie tickets as we'll be catching "shutter" later during midnight. muahaha. so we made our way home and then meet later at night. by then, we took a bus there as it was still raining. the show was totally and FREAKYSCARY. i was SHOCK for so many times!! i was somesort like in endless suspense. very hard to guess what would happen next. u guys out there should catch it if u can. after the show, slowly walk our way home and sleep. i was so tired and i totally drop dead on my bed in just minutes.

today:
everyone is busy working except a few of them. i am so totally bored. i really need to find myself a decent job to keep me busy. anyone can intro me one?? anyway, my exams is just round the corner (to be exact, its just next tuesday!!) and i really need to study hard. now, i am so freaking bored of staying home, the feeling is the same as i had during my birthday cause everyone was working during my BIG DAY too. so shibby with no one to celebrate with. i really need a game to play or somewhere to go. eventually yan asked me if i wanna go orchard with her and peggie but im too plain lazy to go so far. so i just do nothing for the whole day!! and finally went to take a nap and after i woke up, went to 826 to eat with some of the rowdians and then to chinmeng's house. oh ya, today is also dick's 18th birthday. big happy birthday to him. ok so here i am, just came back from some soccer watching. was feeling so bored there too that i went home first. actually today was suppose to go party at hendrix with my classmates as tommorrow is gonna be ilkash's 18th birthday. but too bad i didn't have enough money with me cause so totally BROKE!! jobs please....

today is ma BIRTHDAY!!! muahaha. i'm so damn happy! now i'm finally 18. can go party, watch M-18 movies or drink without been afraid of being underage. now isn't that cool or what. haa althought i don't really do that at all. anyway, i'm gonna wish ma twins, mirah, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to u! cause she also has the same birthday as me and also lotsa stuffs in common. totally cool. also, i'm so glad i've receive so many birthday wishes from my friends and even a present. i'm so touched. awh... but i want more presents!! hahaha.

its is a real happy day for me as i've already complete my last test for this semester and also all the projects!! now i'm totally stress-free i suppose, except for the upcoming exams. just hope it comes and go. damn. i even got quite a good marks for my latest maths test which i didn't even study much for it. if thats not what u call clever, i don't know what else to call it. hahahaha. ok FUCK SCHOOL now. we actually still have to go back school for revision but i've already planned not to go back. school is so freakin' boring!! haa

also, i've just came back from the airport with alex, weitong, ben, wenyan and peggie. we were there to send my 14 years friend, tian nee, who would be leaving for china for some medical treatment. all the best to her and hope she takes good care of herself over there. we'll sure gonna miss her (not). haha. had my dinner already at BK which is so expensive but luckily there was some free food from subway. nice.

its my birthday already but i'm like totally broke. wonder if i can still survive after treating my friends for movies and stuffs. i need to find a job fast so i can save money!! i still got so many stuffs in my mind that i need to purchase. arrrggg. its my birthday so can money please please fall from the sky. thank u.

today went to orchard in the evening to search slippers due to my old slippers which can kill me when its rains. haha. i took 30 bucks from my dad but in the end, after much search, still didn't found the PERFECT slipper for me. first stop was a shop i once saw at heeren where the only thing they sell was slippers. i saw some pretty nice design but don't have my size. god damnit. then went down to flash n splash, too bad most of them are all over my budget limit of 30 bucks. freaking expensive! decided to go to other flash n splash shop all over orchard but all the slippers i like doesn't even have my size. what the fuck. in the end, went to city hall's flash n splash to try our luck as there could be more selections. still, there wasn't my size. afraid i would regret if i buy it now, so i'll just be patient and wait till i really found my perfect slippers, cause i'm totally a perfectionist. ended up buying nothing then headed to long john to have a meal. after the meal, was kinda late for "the champion" so took a cab home instead!! totally broke due to someone. muahaha.

this Song fucking rocks!!, with all the screaming and sing!!
the caps = screamo. c'mon, scream with me!!

"My Safe Haven" from Apathy Season

it's taking hold.
WHY DOES IT SITS SO LONG!!!
it burns a hole inside,
the longer that i let it stay.
(it's coming up today)
WITHOUT YOUR HELP!!!
i won't cough up enough to stay alive.

for days now i'm spilling,
this slow killing poison down my throat.
I'LL END UP WITH ANOTHER DRAWER OF MEMORIES!!
for days now i'm drilling,
the idea of nothing in my mind.
AND GETTING NOTHING BUT!!
THE SMELL OF DRYING INK!!

WHY DOES IT SITS SO LONG!!!
it burns a hole inside,
the longer that i let it stay.
(it's coming up today)
WITHOUT YOUR HELP!!!
i won't cough up enough to stay alive.

four days now i'm sitting,
analyzing choices all to death.
AND I'VE COME UP WITH!!
A REASON TO HATE THEM ALL!!
four days all it took me,
to realize that nothing's all i need.
AND I'M HAPPY WITH!!
THE WAY THAT THINGS TURNED OUT!!

OH WELL IT STILL BURNS!!!
OH WELL IT STILL BURNS!!!
OH WELL IT STILL BURNS!!!
OH WELL IT STILL BURNS!!!
OH WELL IT STILL BURNS....

WHY DOES IT SITS SO LONG!!!
IT BURNS A HOLE INSIDE!!
THE LONGER THAT I LET IT STAY!!
(it's coming up today)
WITHOUT YOUR HELP!!!
i won't cough up enough to stay alive.

had a soccer match today at commonwealth which is so damn bloody far. it was a real tough match but we still ended up a 1-0 win. not bad enough cause the opponent were mostly uncles and so fucking rough. i felt no contribution today, maybe i'm just too tired. anyway, had my leg cramped somemore and no one was there to help me until minutes later. they just lift me outside and continue playing, leaving me there to pain to death. luckily the fucking alex finally came to my so-called "aid" cause he was more like toturing me instead. asshole. haha. oh ya, one last thing, today was also the first match that i got a yellow card!! haha. it was during a free kick, keong and me were the wall. before the freekick was taken, we keep making a few steps forward to shorten the distance. the referee saw and gave us a yellow card straight away. that wasn't even a warning at all. what the fuck man!?!

after the match, my brather who left earlier during the game as he had to go back tekong forgot to switch back our phone and discman. so he wants me to go pasir ris to find him now. fucking waste of my time but i still go there anyway, no choice. all the rowdians alighted at tamp while keong and felki kept me company to pasir ris. big thanks to them. back at tamp, i went kfc to find the rest to eat while keong and felki went home to eat first. now i'm a totally broke man!! i still owe some people money and i need to clear it soon!! arrgg.. after the dinner, i was totally full because most couldn't finish their food as usual and i'm the one who will clear it. hahaha. now i'm getting fatter, need to diet and exercise again. damnit!!

Nov 6, the day my brather came back from his 2 weeks in tekong. glad to see him back again, but he use back his phone straight away when he reached home. damn now i'm using 8250. haha. today went to have ktv session at tamp kbox with my fellow rowdians, qingan, ben, peg, yan and tian nee. tian nee, sad to say, would be leaving for china in a few days time for a month. we're gonna miss her. we went to sing our hearts out specially for her. i actually didn't plan on going but don't know who told me just 8 bucks plus only but in the end 1 person 18 bucks!! what the fuck? now i owe ben money as he was the one who paid first.

anyway, the singing/screaming session was totally fun!!! i love singing or should i say, screaming. haha. i've been screaming songs like "it's my life", "bye, bye, bye" and etc. it fucking rocks!! the whole room was shaking when we sang "it's my life". we sang it 2 times and the last time was totally hardcore all the way with me screaming alone. long time since i screamed my lung out!! but my throat was killing me cause tian nee keep requesting me to hardcore the song even though its some lame love songs. hahaha. but i did and its so cool. now she has titled me her hardcore king plus hardcore idol!! haha sweet. i really wanna go back there again to screeeeaaaammmm!! also, ben did a new classic (like he always do) at the kbox. haha wonder why he like tat. =p we sang for about 5 hours before proceeding long john to eat. i wasn't eating much due to my throat which is so sore from all the screaming. but it's worth it.

after the dinner, went to yan's house for some gaming while waiting for james, weitong and engkeong to come. when its about 10pm, it was soccer time. we've been playing hard and escaping from the police. haha. the police kept coming and the second time they came, we all ran separate ways as they were too many of us and we're afraid they might catch us. haha. the last time i ran away from the police, it was during the time when i was skateboarding with my friends which was 4 years ago. haha. anyway, we met up again later and play for around 4 hours but in the end, my legs couldn't take it anymore and i went home first. so here i am, finished bathing and soon to sleep!! yawn....

no school for today but has a talk about internet security at 11.30am. it was supposed to be compulsory but i couldn't wake myself up and some of my friends already told me beforehand that they were not going so part of my mentality is already, "DON'T GO SCHOOL". haha just hope the teacher won't scold us when we go back school on monday.

after i woke up, play 'Call of Duty' for a while beforing preparing myself to go tm to catch "Shark Tale" with karen. it was a pretty hilarious show, lotsa stupid stuffs. haha. a good catch indeed. after the show, went to had our lunch-dinner and slack at tm for awhile before going small mac to meet the rowdians. talk there for few minutes and then its time for me to sent karen to the bus stop as she'll be leaving for work at the airport. then went to kfc to find the rowdians again. i was actually planning to eat again but most of them couldn't finish their meals so im like the garbage bin. anyway its like free 2 meals for me. hahaha. i love free food! we were all sitting at kfc for a really long time cause still waiting for a few more latecomers to arrive. after waiting for like half an hour, we finally went up to pavilion to play cs. it was a totally fun gaming session because 7 vs 7 and its been really long since so many of us play game together. haha.

after that, most of them went to ben's house, some went hm and i went hm first to return vcd but instead of going ben's house, i went to yan's house for some gaming and vcd. watched "Taxi" and "Ladder 49". "Taxi" is a really funny and stupid show. i love it. and now we're watching "Ladder 49" and i can't wait for it to end cause i'm so sleepy now and i want to go home sleep!! zzZZZ

i've just woke up from my nap. so freaking tired!!! been stress out due to school's projects and works!!! arggg..... i even had counselling lesson today by my form teacher because i have poor attendance. i was so worried, i thought i was gonna get debar. hahaha. lucky it was just some mini talk with him. my worse attendance is just 85% for CCOM, and there's alot people far worse than me. muahaha. also went to cut my hair today at the barber otherwise my teacher wouldn't mark my test paper and kick me out of the class if he still sees me in long hair. damn. he even caught me for wearing slippers and NEVER want me to wear it again except with MC. what the ...!?! anyway, been playing my 'Call Of Duty: United Offensive' all day long. think i'm gonna slow it down or else later complete already, i'll be back to the BOREDOM. now i'm waiting for my dinner to come back, then later go down vcd shop to return and buy some stuffs back.