Symptoms of A Failing Heart

sorry for the lack of updates guys. the reason for that is, i was too busy keeping company with my brand new lover, WoW (World of Warcraft)!


i was searching for it at tampines the whole morning last friday together with shaik who accompanied me. almost every shop we tried had it sold out. we managed to find it at comic connections but it was $10 more expensive than the market price. so in the end, due to my desperate-ness, we headed to sim lim to buy it. it was there i got right price for it.


i swear to god this MMORPG is simply so FUN that i've spent most of my time staying home. now i don't have the time to meet up with the rowdians for dinner and stuffs. come to think of it, they didn't really inform me to go out. haha. anyway, the game do cost me quite a sum of money because the game cost $76 on it own which includes 1 month free. after that, i'd have to buy the monthly card which cost around $47 for 2 months. still, it's worth EVERY penny of it.t


not to forget, my brother took the trouble to buy 2 512MB RAM and a power supply which cost around $250 just to make our computer more compatibe to the game and not make it jam like the previous times.


well, the thing is, we have a accounts each but only 1 pathetic computer. so i really can't wait for me to find a job, earn some cash and buy a computer myself. or the most, strike 4D!


but sadly, because of the game, i've neglected my projects cause i just couldn't concentrate on completing them. it is such a headache. the game sure arrived at the wrong time. plus, my xbox games ordered 2 weeks ago finally came. now i'm down to so much games.


god i'm such a fuck up.


okay. to make up for my bad deeds, i shall go to school tomorrow and complete at least 1 of my projects. no more gaming of DOTA in class, i swear.

in a flash, valentine day has ended. so fast that i could hardly enjoy it. just like all previous years, i didn't manage to spend my day with a date.


though it's always better going out with a date and giving her gift, but the girl i asked was busy. of course i was disappointed but what can i do. therefore, i was left with no options but to hang out with my friends instead.


overall, it was a normal friendship day for me when some of us spent our time playing pool at pavilion first before having our dinner at BK. it was then back to central park for more slacking with the rest.


surprisingly, each of us rowdians received a small gift from the 4 single girls of rowdees, which consist of wenyan, nini, tiannee and peggie. it was a lollipop and a tiny container decorated with our numbers and names. inside, there was 2 strawberry with a little chocolate layer on it. it was sweet, and the first time i ever fnished a whole strawberry myself. not to forget, it's also the first time i receive a valentine day present. how pathetic can that be.


luckily, we too didn't forget about the rowdians girls and most of us also bought gifts back for them. it was all thanks to mond who went alone to purchase the gifts himself. wenyan got her chocolates, nini got her rowdees ring, tiannee got her watch (though we haven't gave her yet) and peggie got her unicorn soft toy.


well, i'll be paying mond the money soon for the gifts cause i have yet to go redraw some money. damn it, i'm getting so broke now. i better graduate soon and go get a job.


after all the giving out and munching of our presents, soccer was next. but most of the time, i was sitting down chatting as my left legs still hurts, thanks to the previous match. i couldn't run that well now. so by 1.30am, i went home first alone. now i hope my leg recovers soon.


on monday, weitong, jason, ben, paul, albert, qingan, kuku and wenyan was at stacie's chalet as she was celebrating her 21st birthday which was on last sunday. we bought her present from tampines mall first before reaching there by cab as it was at changi saf chalet.


overall there, all we did was eating her buffet and drinking her horde of beer and liquior she has. it was a rather drowsy night for most of us cause they kept making her drink. in the end, it took us 7 hours there until most of us couldn't take it and also we have school the next day, so we left first. leaving only jason and paul behind who stayed back to drink more.


as for today, school is about to end now and i'm still having alittle problem completing my flash projects. but i think i have the confident to finish it before the deadline. by the way, my class just took our class photo earlier on and i can't wait to view my year book when it comes. ite is gonna be a memorable chapter in my life.


slowly.... i'm getting sick of it.
sick of it all.
sick of waiting, because everything just ends up in vain.
sick of smiling, when inside, i'm broken.
sick of lying, when all i couldn't say, was the truth.
sick of you spinning me around.
all these time, i've been reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place.
nothing last forever,
but i wish my love for you does not.

hohoho. valentine day is just tomorrow.
argh. this is one frustating day.
why?
because if you're single, you get to see alot of couple walking around the streets.
which you could feel rather jealous. right? maybe?


hmm... date? no date?
as for me, i don't think i even have one.
or i just didn't have the courage to ask someone out.
i hate being rejected, cause the feeling sucks.
i guess it'll be just plain friendship day with the rest of the single rowdians.
and for your information, 87.5% of the rowdians(both guys and girls) are all SINGLE!
hahahaha! and i can understand that most of us are TRYING to get ourselves both laid and attached at the same time, which is freaking HARD.
LOL.
so to all those single dudes and dudettes are reading this, i can always introduce you to some of the MACHO MEN of rowdees.


or even better, some girl please just ask me out!
haha!

oh yeah, yet another well deserved victory for rowdees today at mangrove field against ben's cousin's team. a thrashing scoreline of 8 - 0! woohoo! thanks to 2 goals from jason, 2 goals from me, a goal from qingan, a goal from james, a goal from khiaseng and a goal from alex.


it's a wonderful "last" match for jason and james as the scoreline was fantastic and they even get to score goals themselves. they can now leave peacefully and happily to for their NS on 11nd march. haha.


at first, ben's cousin's team actually has the edge over us as they are few years older and have a larger built than us. but in the end, we are still too experienced and skillful for them to handle and they couldn't defend much against us. i'm even proud to say they didn't even have a shot on target!


wo men heng qiang!


it was surely a great day for us all. especially me, cause i finally get to shoot some of the scenes of my video commercial. now i'm feeling much more relieved knowing i have at least something done for my davp project. phew~ still, the deadline is near and i really need to get more volunteers to help my group to finish shooting the commercial.


one thing i learnt from today, being a director is TOUGH!


after match, it was lunch at 826 before making our way home to rest. most of us met up again at dick's house at around 4pm to watch dvd, "saw". just when the movie was about to end, i left first as i had to go over to my auntie's house for steamboat dinner.


dinner ended at 9pm and my dad drove me back central park to find the rest to slack at pineapple. we cycled and talked alot of crap for quite some time before i'm back home right now.


some updates for this week.


friday after school, waited for felki to get her 'O' level results outside our ex-school, junyuan sec with keong, qingan, jason, zhenfai, weitong, nini and wenyan. halfway waiting, qingan, jason and zhenfai left while the rest of us went into the school to wait for her instead.


felki got 18 points for her L1R4, failing only her chinese. it was way good enough, considering most people i know didn't do that well. we then left for lunch at katong shopping centre before starting our lan gaming. qingan, jason and james joined us not long later and we play till 9.00pm before stopping.


after that, it was dining at my favourite "hong kong cafe", and not forgetting, spending quite a sum of money as well due to the way expensive food, but it was worth it.


night soccer back at central park with the rest of the rowdians till 2.30am before we all made our way home.


saturday, slept till afternoon before taking the video camera from sopi and buying my lunch over to wenyan house to slack. we then watched vcd, "red eye" and my brother joined us soon for "cheaper by the dozen 2".


dinner was next at 844 with the other rowdians. then it was ocha session for awhile before making our way to dick's place to watch soccer and also dvds through his computer. slowly, more rowdians and a few kukus joined us as well.


in the end, most of us got to watch, "the exorcism of emily rose" and "saw 2" from dick's computer. not forgetting soccer match was entertaining and exciting too because chelsea lost 3 - 0! HAHAHA! sucker. how are you feeling now, ghazali? and man utd won 3 - 1. hoho!


by 2am, some of us was back home to rest for our long awaited match while the other crashed over at dick's place.


well, i actually watched 4 movies in a row that day and i can say all of them are really great shows. i swear they all. so do catch them if you can.


as for now, it's time for me to get some sleep.

happy 5th birthday to my pet dog, rowdee! yes, for those who didn't know, i do have a dog at home. though he belongs more to my brother cause he sleeps with him and i don't like rowdee straying inside my room.


for your information, he's a male mini pinscher breed which his color consists of mainly black and brown. he is fucking naughty, horny, and useless! everyday going around peeing everywhere but luckily shitting at just one corner, or else it would have been much more terrible. not forgetting always creating havoc and dirtiness. barking all the time! seriously, i can't wait for him to grow old and cool down. at least, it wouldn't be that noisy or dirty as now.


if you're wondering why he's like that? it's thanks to my brother who wasn't at home most of the time when he's a puppy. thats why no ones gets to train him to become more obedient. argh!


well, don't point the finger at me cause rowdee is hardly my business. i wasn't there when my brother and father first bought and brought him home, so you can say i wasn't totally attracted to him as i wasn't the one who chose him. it may sound cruel, but i can't wait to give him a hell of a beating to show him whose boss! one day, it WILL happen. i swear.

and by now, i'm sure most of you should have know how that the name of my soccer team, rowdees, came about. i have no idea why, but it happened the day during december 2001 when we were ordering our first team jerseys and the shop uncle was asking if we wanna have our team name printed on the jerseys. and because we don't have one, we started thinking of it. after much discussion, we finally had the idea of naming it after my dog, rowdee, but with the "s" as there's more than one of us.


hence it begins, the dawn of rowdees!
the beginning of our world domination.

alright, it's rather late now and i have a test tomorrow morning! it's gonna take 3 hours and i seriously hope i can do it. slowly one by one, i'm starting to finish all my assignments and projects one by one. few more weeks and all of them should be done.


now what i'm really worrying about is my davp project which deadline is on 27th february. if everything goes according to plan and if i'm able to borrow the video camera, i should be able to start shooting the soccer commercial i wanted this sunday.


why this sunday? because rowdees would be having a soccer match against ben's cousins and it would be a good opportunity to shoot my first scene at the pitch. finally i can get it going, if not, i don't even know when i can start.


about the soccer commercial, its just a mixture of scene of different people playing soccer at different avenues. i can imagine the completed commercial in my head now, thanks to the nike magia commercial for references. i know i'm copying most of it, but who cares?


sadly, i haven't totally plan out everything with my 2 other group members and we're still missing some props. it's just so fucking stress! i can almost feel myself breaking down. last year of ITE is truly devastating! i can't imagine myself going on to polytechnic after this. i would suffocate, drop dead and die.


but looking on at the bright side, rowdees will be having a chalet on 3rd to 5th march at aranda downtown east. i can't wait for school to end for my long break with no school! when that time comes, i'll make sure i enjoy myself fully with no regrets at the chalet. plus, games and activities for the chalet have almost been planned out and it's gonna be one hell of a blast!


for now, i'm out. pray and wish me luck for my test!

just last wednesday, i had the fright of my life! it has NEVER happened to me my entire life before and on that day, it did. it's the first time i ever experience something that's so strange or extraordinary, maybe?


it was during 4am when i just finished my previous long post and was about to go to sleep. merely 5 minutes after i closed my eyes, i suddenly hear a loud BANG from my window! it's as if someone punched his fist on it. well, i think it is from my window because my bed was just right beside it and i could hear it really loud and clear. i'm sure it's from there.


i immediately opened my eyes and can almost feel my soul coming out. it's really that sudden and i was super SHOCK and scare, of course!


mind you, i'm living on the 8th floor and there's no way someone could be there. at first, i thought it was from inside the room but i had my curtain closed shut and metal grill on the inside. so the sound must have came from outside.


after thinking some possibilites like maybe a bird accidently flew and knocked on it, but i could have hear the wings flapping too and it could never make such a loud bang unless its flying at super speed. plus, which bird would fly so late in the night and so dumb enough to knock peoples' window. right?


or maybe i was dreaming when it happened, but i'm 100% sure the feeling and sound was felt so real and no way i could have mistaken it from a dream or reality.


i even thought maybe someone commited suicide but he or she couldn't possibly knock onto my windows either. the news doesn't even show it the next day.


hmm... i still couldn't find a proper explaination to it. it's so WEIRD. i still can't believe this thing actually happened. it's like so super natural.


anyway, at that time, i was so terrified that i didn't even dared to draw open my curtains and window to check it out. i quickly close my eyes, cover myself with blanket and try to fall asleep. thank god it didn't happen again, or else i would have run as fast as i can out of my room.


the very next day, i finally had the courage to see what was actually happened. to my curiousity, nothing strange was on my window. i find no trace of anything, not even a single evidence of the incident.


luckily, that incident didn't happen throughout the next few nights. it still makes me nervous when i am going to bed nowadays.


alright, enough of this spooky shit, it'll just make my hair stand.


ok last wednesday morning, i was out to CMPB (Central ManPower Base) for my NS medical checkup together with keong, weitong, ben, khiaseng and melvin. we had breakfast at macdonald before taking a train to redhill first and then took a cab there.


our appointment was supposed to be at 9.30am but we reached there only at 10.30am. luckily they don't really care much about the time as long as we're there. luckily there wasn't much people there either.


in total, there were 7 stations we need to complete.


first stop, hearing test.
all of us didn't have a problem for it, but i swear we are look like clowns. we have to go in a small silent room and put on the headphone. then we have to raise up either our left or right hand everytime we hear something, depending on which side the sound came from. the sound kept appearing and disappearing so fast and i really had no idea whether to raise up and down or keep holding my hand up. in the end, for more accuracy, we all just keep raising up and down and thats how we all end up like clowns. imagine that.


second stop, eye-sight test.
this time round, most of us passed the color blind test except for keong, who has a mild color blind. he read the colored number so terribly i tell you. not even close. hahaha. for the normal eye test, most of us has quite a problem reading the letters from afar, but the person incharge doesn't seems to even bother at all and they just let us pass. and to all our surprise, ben even got a "A" grade for it. even for his cock/crooked eye, there's seems nothing wrong with it. haha.


third stop, torso x-ray.
nothing much though. just that we have to strip till we're topless, bend our arms and place our chest and shoulders touching the machine to x-ray. it was a fast one.


fourth stop, urine and blood test.
we have to take a small strip from the counter and go to the toilet to pee on it. however, it's really funny cause it's the first time i have to "aim" at something and i just kept laughing while peeing, together with melvin. haha. nothing was adnormal when we show the strip to the person-in-charge. so, we continued on to the blood test. the process was as fast as lightning and it doesn't hurt much as usual. just the same mini pain we had when we took our blood test during making our identity card.


fifth stop, dental check.
the dentist checked each of our set of teeth to make sure everything was good and healthy. only weitong and keong who end up going into another room to x-ray their teeth. i wonder why the rest of us didn't.


sixth stop, full body check.
we got to strip topless again to check our heartbeat rate, height and weight, then our blood pressure. after that, we queued up for the individual body check. as there was quite a crowd, we waited for some time before it was finally our turn. inside the room, we need to declare about whether there was anything wrong with us or something (for example, gay or undergo major operation before). i was totally fine and fit so it was a quick one. just that we have to bend down and touch our toe (i couldn't do it though) and then strip down entirely and cough real hard as they were checking out our **** (that was the most embrassing one).


seventh stop, IQ test?
we have to sit down for around 1hr 30mins at the computer to complete a set of 100 plus questions. it took a lot of our time there and the most fed up station. it was pretty lame to answer those stupid questions which consists of maths, physics and common sense questions. unlike some others, i try to answer the questions as correctly as i could.


and thats it! it took us about 5 hours to complete our medical checkup. in the end, weitong, khiaseng and me got Pes A, keong got Pes B while melvin and ben got Pes D which means pending still. they'll know which Pes they will go soon enough.


nowadays, the chinese new year spirit seems to slowly fades away. hai... it just flies so fast and i can't feel it anymore. rowdees last stop of house visiting was at alex's house only for steamboat last saturday. after that, it was gaming of "battlefield 2" and "swat 4" while some play pool at katong's mechmaster. we've been going there quite often now cause we're all addicted to the game. and that explains how busy i am to update my blog.


anyway, no more red packet! i've even spent most of the cash already. no more holiday mood already! 6 more weeks of school without anymore holidays! but i can't wait to finish all my stressful projects and graduate. then maybe NS or poly after that. i simply can't decide which.

CNY this year is one hell of a blast! it just gets better each year and i'm sure next year is gonna be better. except that my red packets are getting lesser each year!! i received just about $250 compared to $300+ the previous years. argh, what the hell. the more i grow, the more it shrinks. this is not good. anyway, i've been enjoying myself and having so much fun that only until today, i have the time to blog.


27th january, friday:
missed school that day as i went back to my old secondary school for their cny performance. i was there with mond, albert, paul, alex, wenyan, kelvin, kuku, black and bah geh at around 11.15pm. when we're trying to get in the main gate, the OM was fucking retarded to say that colored hair cannot entered. i really don't get it, why no colored hair? this is total bullshit! in the end, colored hair like albert, alex, kelvin and black couldn't get in, so they waited outside for us. inside there, i still see a few of others ex-jyssian with colored hair who managed to sneak in by wearing cap and stuffs. how STUPID can the OM be. jyss is indeed getting shittier these days. luckily we're all out.


at first, i thought the cny performance would suck, just like every year. but i'm surprised that this time round, its alot more entertaining. best of all the cny performance i seen for the past 6 years. haha.


after the performance, the rest of us proceed to tm for a lil' walk while alex went back to school. over there, albert was the STAR as it was rather crowded there and alot of people could regconize him. some girl even managed to take a few photos with him cause i know albert couldn't resist them. haha. as we still have some time left, we went to play billard at pavilion first before going back home to freshen up for our steamboat later in the evening.




by 6.30pm, all of the rowdians already met up at central park's clock for our reunion dinner and we walked over to the mrt station to take the train. in no time, we were at simei's han river. previously last week, wenyan had already made a booking of 22 heads at 7.30pm but to our misfortune, the person-in-charge told us that our booking wasn't valid. lousy service. in the end, we had to wait until 8.15pm before all of us had our seats.


the food wasn't as delicious as i thought except that their hotdogs are super juicy! still, we should have had our reunion dinner at sakura or some other place instead. no more han river next time i hope.

































after dinner, it was back to tampines. some of us went to pavilion for counterstrike while a few others play pool instead. for the girls, they went to collect our movie tickets of "fearless" first before joining us for counterstrike as well. it was fun killing each other in the game especially the girls who are simply freefrag. haha.


15 minutes before our movie starts at 11.45pm, we stopped our game and proceed to buy our snacks and drinks at century cineplex. alex and ron's 2 friends joined us for the movie too. in total, 25 of us watched the movie. well, i should say the movie, "fearless" wasn't really that nice. a 6.5/10 rating. do catch it if you're a big fan of thoes kung fu shits, plus, its jet li's last film.


after the movie, we waited for some of them to smoke outside the lobby first before walking back to central park for soccer. most of them play soccer with the kukus while the rest headed home. as for me, i was at felki's house to collect some leftover bbq food from her mom before going home to sleep.













28th january, saturday:
first of all, happy 20th birthday to peggie! wish you all the best in everything you do and hope you've enjoyed your big day.


immediately after i woke up in the morning, had the leftover bbq food for breakfast with my family. it was then slacking at home the whole day. it was only during the evening, that i went over to my auntie's house for our family reunion dinner. after dining, dad drove us back home to change first before going down to central park for night soccer as normal. the whole lot of us play till around 1am before finally going home to rest for the big day tomorrow.


29th january, sunday:
the first day of chinese new year! i was up as early as 10.30am to prepare for the big day. i didn't really have a good night sleep but i still managed to get up after my mom's many attempts of shouting at me. haha.


first stop, it was my auntie's house again for breakfast. then on to another relative's house for a short visitng and on to my grandma's house which is nearby. we were there for quite some time before going back home to rest as my dad and brother are both tired.



napped till night time, which is just nice for my dinner of instant noodle. melvin actually told me to meet them for gambling at nicholas' house but i didn't go. well, thank god i didn't cause last i heard, they lost alot of money to the banker who consist of sylvester, ivan and his friend.


so intead of losing my precious money, i walked to central park's water melon to meet paul, qingan, albert, james, jason and wenyan. we slack and talked for quite some time before crashing to my place for soccer watching and cny food munching. it was only until the final whistle that they left for home and me ending up on my bed.


30th january, monday:
a short house visiting till the afternoon, then back home for gaming before my real god sis, gigi and her family came over to my house. after some time, they left for my auntie's house. soon, my mom came to nag me to join them for my uncle's house. at first, my brother and i were reluctant to go as we'll be joining the rest of the rowdian soon for MOS later. in the end, we were left with no options amd were forced to go.


over there, had dinner there at my uncle's house and so catching up with my cousins. not forgetting, i received some comments from my relatives like me looking like a mat because of my eyeliner, why my hair is so thick and etc. i'm kinda sick of it, why can't they just give me compliments instead. i guess it is just like what my brother said, the generation gap. they don't know anything of what my fashion is or i'm thinking.


at around 7.30pm, it was time to meet up for clubbing at MOS! as the rest were at tampines and i was at bedok, they took a cab from there while i took one from here to fetch peggie because she was at bedok too.


by 8.30pm, almost all 24 of us rowdians were there waiting for MOS to open. others like sharon, terence, kian heng, justin, eric, lawson, one of their friends, my brother's 2 friend, wenyan's 2 kakis and 2 colleuges also joined us in MOS. as planned, all of us guys were wearing buttoned shirts. it's so rare to even see a few of us wearing shirt, therefore, to see all of us wearing it is like, WOW! for the girls, they were dressed in their own glam ways.








when we entered MOS, it is indeed what we've heard. the place is totally huge! the environment is really good, with 2 storeys and 5 rooms of different genres. how cool can that be. not forgetting, there's quite a big space for the dance floor.


the bad thing about the place is that the drinks are fucking expensive. a jug cost $49 whereas a bottle of liquor cost $228. thats like 2 times of other clubs! as we wanted to get a good place to seat, we opened 3 bottles of liquor which consist of 2 chivas and 1 jack daniels. still, the sofa seats wasn't big enough for all of us, so half of us took turns standing. imagine 37 people trying to squeeze in a pathetic sofa. haha.



well, the most enjoyment we had there was simply, dancing! hahaha. we were all dancing like crazy people because most of them are virgin clubbers and they have never really dance before in their life time! hoho. it's just so funny to see each other dancing together. we guys were trying to grind each other for fun and i know it looks alot like gay people dancing. haha. and i'm sure the strangers there must be thinking whether we are idiots, retards or something.


by 1am, both eric and lawson are wasted. eric was very drunk that he vomitted near our seats. they were quite wasting the space, so weitong and i have to lift both of them out of the club while kian heng and his friend have to send them back home.


soon, the club were starting to get so crowded that you can hardly walk from one place to another. evenmore, we were at the 2nd floor and we always have trouble walking down to the dance floor. it's really pack with so many people that it's so fucking hot and you can literally touch everyone around you. i swear i'll never go back there again next time.


due to the crowd and heat, some of them left the club to wait for us outside first. after more drinking and dancing, i was out of the club to wait for the rest as well. by 3am, everyone of us left the club. and because qingan was wasted too, weitong, wenyan and mond sent him home while jason, james and paul sent sharon home. as for the rest of us, we waited for alex's friend who came to drive us back to tampines with his lorry.


back at tampines, we were rather hungry. so we went to have our supper at "al khader" first with james, jason and paul joining us. after eating, most of them went to 844's 7-11 to find wenyan, weitong and mond to slack while me and my brother went home to sleep cause we're both really super tired.


31st january, tuesday:
woke up at 12pm to prepare myself to go my dad's friend's house for cny visiting. we stay there for around 2 hours as we were watching the dvd, "deep blue sea" before my dad finally drive us back to tampines to meet the rest under wenyan's block at 3.15pm. we waited for a few others to arrive first as some of them were late and then we proceed up to wenyan's house for our rowdees cny visiting.


all we did there was eating the snacks, watching some videos on the net, watching tv and taking photos. we stay there for around an hour or so until we left.