Symptoms of A Failing Heart

argh. project, projects and more projects!! projects dued for next week are:
-iwad project
-visual basics project
-operating system project
-software engineering case study 2 project

damn it. there's just so many of them, like endless. i've been feeling so stress because of them. one after another i have to finish it. my whole brain is gonna collapse. i need help!! wonder if i can even finish them by next week. now beside all these projects i have to worry about, there's still the exams!! they're just around the corner, just a few more weeks. i won't worry about cmaths cause i have the confidence i will score pretty well for that. but for swe and nwf, i doubt so. there's just so many things to memorise. hope i could ever pass those at all. another thing, debar list would be out most probably tomorrow or next week. i hope my name wouldn't appear there or else.... MATI.

god bless me.

i was actually trying to get some sleep in the evening as soon as i got home from school. i was really tired but i was kept awake a few times cause my bro keep coming in and out of my room numerous time. he turn on the lights and make a few noise which basically keep waking me up. and just when i was about to get some peace, got a call from tong to go out eat. i went to prepare asap and met tong, james and yan at clock. just some plain walking at interchange. got ourselves a long john silvers dinner which i basically ate a 3 piece chicken meal plus 1 fish. then walk around at tm with yan buying something for her friend. planned to go pavilion for cs but due to the crowd, we end up going ya kun for some slacking session. each of us ordered a set A which consist of 1 drink, 2 eggs and 2 slice of toast. most of them couldn't finish it and so, i ate a total of 10 toast myself. bloody hell, now my diet plan got ruined. its been long since i ate so much in such a short time. damn, tomorrow i'm gonna eat less, i swear. after waiting for time to fly, james went for walk and the rest of us went home straight.

just to let you know, i was just at tm yesterday with qingan, tong, dick, chinmeng, yan and ziting. chinmeng was the leader a.k.a main star as he was the one asking us out as he's buying a present for kexin for her 16th birthday which is today. well, a big happy birthday to her. after buying the present at 77th street, we had dinner at the foodcourt. then proceed to kexin's house for i don't know why. ended up watching tv and playing "cai quan". loser would have to eat the fruit salad kexin's mum offered. i think i'm the one eating most of it cause of the fucking asshole tong. hahaha. it really tasted sucky, the sauce is like so gross. i'm never gonna eat that again in my life, i feel like i'm in fear factor. finally got home to sleep at 11pm. thats about it for yesterday.

alright. another boring day at school tomorrow. hope i could wake up at all cause i can't afford to miss another cmaths lesson again. and i'll be waking up later to watch champion league match of chelsea against liverpool. hope for the best tomorrow. and here's this weird quote i learned from my classmates in school. "I WANT TO KNOW." "HOW TO KNOW?!?!"

oh ya. i came across this virus which i actually encounter it personally but luckily i was away. incase it happens to you, so i'm gonna tell u guys about it. maybe should of you already knows but what the hell, i'm still gonna say it. it spreads through the msn which i know most of you are using it. when one talks to you and say "lol look at this. http://pj34r1ng.us/gallery.php?email=(youremailadd)" its a virus. don't click on it or you'll gonna regret. ok thats all.

p.s. its true!

today was one free day in school. i came to school few hours late and didn't get to attend cmaths. the next lesson is vb and when i reached the classroom, found out nobody was there. got a call from khai and then i realise there was a talk going on at the auditorium. so i met up with khai, youb and shirhan at the library as they were late too and didn't attend the talk. finally when the rest was released, we resumed our vb lesson. well, i didn't think i'd call it resume as when we came back to class. we did nothing and the teacher inform as there as long as we can hand in our projects next week. we could go now. hahaha. damn, i just reach school and now i'm free to leave. so the whole lot of us went tm's long john for our lunch. after that, the rest plan to go back for pie lesson. anyway i also planned to go, but not before catching a movie. haha. so josh, yus and me went cs to watch "guess who" (we've been like planning this movie thing for weeks) i even got a free ticket from my ex-colleuge. hehe. the movie is quite funny but not as up-to-standard as i expect. after the movie, it was already 3pm and the pie class starts at 2pm. so, like you don't know me, we skipped the class. even more, they were watching some movie about responsibility in class too. so i got home for a really small nap before meeting up with tong, ben, yan, chan, ziting and kexin for a tennis session at tp. hock joined us soon after. pretty nice and tiring game which i still don't get the hang of it cause its really a hard game. we finally stop 2 hours later. i went back to school for swe make-up lesson and the rest, i had pretty much no idea where they went.

anyway, yesteday was at shirhan's place to help him move. reached his old house with farhan and youb at 1pm. started helping as soon as we reach there cause we were so late (supposed to be there at 10am) damn, he sure got lotsa stuffs to move!! we were like killing ourselves out there. haha. and there was this funniest shit that happened. farhan was spitting and it just fall and landed on his own feet!! hahaha. u really should have see the look at his face. its damn hilarious. i just can't stop laughing. ok i left halfway through cause was meeting the rowdians after that. didn't got to see his new house or tasted the food his mom cooked. hahaha. went cm house for soccer watching and then at 11pm, our usual soccer session till i finally drop dead at 2am.

late nights, early wakes.
that has been my usual routine nowadays.
i can't keep it that way.
tireness overwhelms me.
it shouldn't be this way.
i need a break.
but exams' around the corner.
i hate it.
no mood for school.
i'll burn.
i'll burn.... for you.
tomorrow is another early morning.
help shirhan to move house.
hope i could get my ass up.
hope.

A Boy Brushed Red... Living In Black And White
by UnderOath

Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong
It's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that I'm just a fool for you
I am just a fool for you

Here is where we both feel wrong
Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So tie me up
And toss this key
'Cause for now we're
Living in this moment
And we both ignore the truth
Its all over
Its all over

I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes

[chorus]
Your lungs have failed and they both stopped breathing
My heart is dead and its way past beating
Something has gone terribly wrong
I'm scared, you're scared, we're scared of this
I never thought we'd make it out alive
I never told you but its all in your goodbyes
It's all in your goodbyes

Well look who's dying now
Slit wristless sleeping with the girl next door
I always knew you were such a sucker for that
It doesnt matter what you say
You never mattered anyway
Never mattered anyway

In this moment that we both ignore the truth
It's all over
It's all over
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes

[chorus]

Don't shake, i hate to see you tremble
Trembling you've lost your touch
Haven't you run so addicted

[chorus]

just finished my KFC dinner which my mom bought home. still got some snacks in the kitchen but i'm still considering whether to eat those anot. anyway, today's a rather boring day for me. the only thing i could do when i got home from school is sleep. oh yeah, i was pretty unlucky in school today. was in school till late due to the maths make-up lessons. halfway through, the discipline master was "NICE" enough to stop by our class and came in to check on our hair. initially, i didn't got caught and was laughing at my friends who got caught. but after he came back in again to give those with long hair a form to fill (for your info, the form is for us to keep our promise so we'd cut our hair), sweet revenge was what i got. well, just nice the class ended when he came back in. so i tried to dodge him by pretending to push in the chairs far away from his sight. unfortunately, he spotted me. he was like, "you! boy, come here. sign this form". fucking hell. my friends were laughing back the shit back at me cause of my reaction and stuffs. hahaha. shit, now i've to keep to my oath and cut my hair by friday. the problem is i've just cut my hair like last week!! damn it. i think need to find some rather pro but free "hairdresser" to cut for me so i can save some cash. any recommendations?

alright i'm so bored now. in need of some entertainment.

well, just got back from wenyan's house. the rest headed for soccer while i went home first cause i was really tired and there's school as usual tomorrow. no more late! we were watching the vcd, "The Pacifier" at her house. the show was nice, pretty hilarious. missed my software engineering make-up lesson today. damnit. and oh ya, i even took a cab to school today cause i was afraid i would be late for assembly. the taxi fare bloody hell costed me $4.20. its like half of my daily cash gone within 7 mins. *in a blink of an eye* arggh!!! i hope it was worth it cause i can't miss that assembly anymore. but the thing is, even after i reached, i still got time to sit down and wait for the assembly to start. I SHOULD HAVE WALKED. i really should. halfway in school, was planning to skip the last lesson but after much persuasion and psycho from my classmates, i didn't. after school, met up with weitong, qingan, wenyan and maychan at ocha in the evening. we went to the vcd shop to a rent show before going ziting's house to see her dog, niki. muahahahaha. weitong was damn embrassed. his face was all red! don't tell me its the sunburnt from yesterday. lame excuse. anyway its just very rare to see him like that. left for 827 for our dinner at 6.30pm but maychan didn't join us. i had a $3 carrot cake for dinner ONLY. it seems little to me but its seems like a lot to some of them. haha. evenmore, the other meal i had was just 2 pathetic pratas!! i guess i'm really dieting. hohoho. but guess what. i'm feeling so so fucking hungry right now. i can eat like a buffalo. think i'll be going to bed to ease my hunger.

but before i do that. i'm gonna recap what i did last weekend. saturday, woke up pretty late actually. so in the end, only met up with the rest at around 6pm for dinner at 827 with jason and wenyan. after the meal, went chinmeng's house to watch soccer and also the vcd, "Ocean's Twelve" which i rented. the show is really cool, a unique storyline with alot of twist and stuffs. the rest joined us pretty soon over there which i'm not gonna mention who. too many to note. stayed there till around 12 before heading back home with weitong and wenyan. we were home early due to the match the next day which starts at 1pm. HOTTT~~!!!

sunday, soccer match with jyss sec 5 team which consist of malay and chinese at evss. ended with a result of 6-0, of course we won. for more details of who scored, u guys can go check out wenyan's blog instead cause i'm so lazy to type it down. in short, it turns out pretty well actually cause we haven't play for months. the weather was killing us but we managed to keep it cool. oh, a bad news is, albert is injured. hahaha. good for him. after the match, went to the opposite coffeeshop for our lunch. then almost everyone took a cab home to change before heading chinmeng's house again to watch the video we recorded of the match from tiannee's video camera. only recorded like 50+ mins of the action but its enough to make us drop dead laugh like fuck. next time we should record more and i feel like being the cameraman. haa. ok after much laughter and some slacking, watch other live matches over there as well. at half-time, some of us went to al-kader coffeeshop to eat our dinner. i got home first instead cause the next day is school. i guess thats all for my weekends. wasn't pretty much what i expected but perfect enough for me.

as i expected, today's another boring day for me. after school, got home with keong and then watched naruto to kill my time. at 4.50pm, met up with wen yan, tian nee and may chan at century square. wen yan changed her hp battery at samsung while i got myself ANOTHER ear phone. actually i have already bought a sony one at 827 for just $12 as my old one got some problem with it. but turns out, it was too short and the sound quality totally suck. no choice, guess i wasted my cash already. so now, i bought a panasonic one instead, which costed $20 after a $5 discount. and this time, its a better quality earphone. perfect; just what i wanted. later, the 4 of us went pavilion to play pool. my brather came later and tian nee left after awhile. after pool, went downstair's BK for our dinner. ordered almost quite alot that we couldn't finish some of the side dish. headed to tm for alil walk around before getting our asses home. well, i went to wen yan's house instead as i don't feel like going back so early. therefore, now i'm at her house doing nothing and blogging. will be leaving for central park to play soccer later. but i'm starting to feel so tired and sleepy!! damn.

school was short today from 10 to 3pm. the IWAD project is such a HEADACHE!! i've killed like so many of my brain cells just for that. even though theres still a few weeks till the deadline but i just can't wait to finish it first. so at least, i will relief myself from a small load of burden. after school, bum onto youb and ghaz on the way, then went to the game shop to check out if there's any new game like "jade empire" but it didn't. have to wait till like next week. then got home and took a nap. halfway through my sleep, i was awaken by the small sound of water dripping from my air-con. can't believe my ears are so sharp even when i sleeps. haha. went to off it and on my fan instead. anyway, the funny thing is that when i woke up, i thought it was friday already. i tried but i just can't recall what date it is until i slowly came to myself. my mind was like so blurred. this kind of thing don't happen everyday.

after i finally woke up, went to meet alex, ben and wenyan at ocha for some slacking session. then came qingan, chinmeng, bah geh, kuku, dick and matoot. after drinking and plain talking cock, went to vcd shop for awhile. but too bad, they doesn't have any new movies yet. afterwards, headed to marry brown to have our dinner!!! damn, i was just talking how bad my throat was yesterday, and here i am, eating heaty stuffs again!! arrggh. control, control!! before heading home, proceed to ben's house first to get from him the hair straightener. haa, my hair is gonna be straighter from now on. see for yourself.

another sick 4 hours of lessons tomorrow and its just gonna be plain theory. we're all gonna burn and perish!! as usual, i'm planning to wear slippers and pe t-shirt to school. hope the teacher won't catch me. this time, my friday better be more entertaining than the last or else i'll die of boredom at home!! please think of some plans!! please.... also, i'm so looking forward for this sunday's match against a younger team. it's like our first match since a long time! and also the first time we'll be wearing our new jersey. the opponent should be honoured, but we're still gonna kick their ass, HARD.

just got back from airport subway with qingan, paul, tong, black, bah geh and wenyan. as usual, we were slacking there and playing dai dee most of the time. can't imagine by few days time, i'll be off to the airport almost everyday for work. also, had popeye chicken for dinner again. i've felt my throat more sore by the day. need to start to control or i'll fall ill again. ok when we got back reached the bus stop, realised that someone had messed with yan's lock and therefore, we couldn't get the bike out. so we called for help from the police instead. as i couldn't wait for the police to arrive, i went home first. hope everythingis alright. think the rest would be going someone's house to watch soccer later tonight.

anyway, i've missed another maths make-up lesson today cause the teacher said he won't debar me due to the wonderful performance for both of my maths test. hahaha. but i still will go next week just to push up my attendance first. finally, the FULL LOAD of stress is off my back already after hearing what the teachers said. i guess my results are just too good to be debarred. muahahaha.

alright thats all for today. it's a short entry cause i've realised that most of my entries are too long-winded. i'm sure people see already, would be too lazy to read.

"she keep on asking "do you think it hurts much to die?"
"it's hurting so much more to stay alive now."
she's gonna find out how much it hurts to die.
she laced her perfume up with death
feel it in my lungs.
so i'll pull in the deepest breath,
and drop my head."

school is getting boring by the day. just attended 3 hours of make-up lesson for software engineering yesterday. the time sure pass faster than the morning lesson itself. maybe cause the teacher just gave us work to do and then attend to his part-time students. we can do almost anything we want as long as we finish the work at the end of the day. we were just joking around and talking cock most of the time. if only all the lessons were like that.

anyway, today went to school for yet another software engineering lesson. i was 1 hour late but luckily the teacher gave me a chance and still marked my attendance. lateness has become my usual habit nowadays. i'm never early. and so, i fear for tomorrow's assembly cause i HAVE to be there by 8 or i'll have to stay back after school to clean up. got a networking retest today and as usual, i didn't studied. well, the teacher gave us the time to do so but i didn't make full use of it at all!! i'm so lazy and i just can't get anything up my mind. i'm deadmeat!! i predict i'll get like the most 10 marks out of the 70. fuck. ok after school, should have attended maths make-up lessons but i was too tired so i went back home instead. stumble upon some of the rowdians at ocha. ordered a cup of bubble tea first before we went our separate ways as they went home and i head to fushion for my haircut.

back home, sleep is what i had in mind. slept for a mere 2 hour before waking up to my dinner. although it was great food, i wasn't satisfied. and i find myself not eating anymore snacks after dinner. it was what i do best in the past. i guess this diet shit may just work, but i'm still fat. ok, need to go get a passport photo cause need to renew my passport pretty soon. still gotta attend tomorrow's maths make-up. just hope i can wake up.

arggh. its like a whole busy week for me with all the make-up and stuffs. and my job is even gonna start around this week too. hope the management won't be as fuck up as i heard. they better allow me to work whenever i want. sunday is confirm out of the picture. also, i realised by the time i started working, insufficient rest is what i'll have and i won't have any time for my nap anymore. its gonna be tough and tiring for me. i wish i can make it, on my own.

albert is gay 

trapped 

i was tired 

3 in 1 

the used vs silverstein 

drive by romance. haha 

blurry 

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BENJAMIN LIM WEI SIANG.
for today is his 19th birthday.
and i still haven't got the chance to wack him up.

woke up early at 7am for i was going praying/offering to my ancestor at some temple because of the qing ming jie. on the way home, my nose apparently bled. maybe cause of the sickness causing the heat lately. got home and washed some of my stuffs as they were rather dirty, especially my macbeth shoe and some clothings. realised that there was some faulty shit on my macbeth shoe (a small tear!!) god damnit. after i prepared myself, was off to wenyan house first to meet up with mond, weitong and qingan at 2.35pm. we watched vcd for awhile cause it was soon time to meet the rest at clock for ben's bday celebration. we had totally no idea where we're heading cause the bday boy couldn't decide at all. in the end, we headed for orchard together with ben, albert, hock, james and peggie with jason, khia seng, charis and helen meeting us halfway through. first stop, taka's kfc for our lunch/dinner. then to lido to buy our "samara" movie tickets. on the way there, i saw gwen whom i met in person the first time. and we also walked past those some kind of surveyor and one of them even ask if i'm singaporean. i didn't replied her at all cause i'm afraid if i answer either yes or no, she may waste my time by asking me to fill up the survey or something, so i was like "no, sorry" and walked away. i hope the "no" i said doesn't make her think that "no, i'm not singaporean". which part of me doesn't look like singaporean. do i look like some tourist or something? well, anyway, as still time before the movie starts, proceed to far east's image 2001 cause i wanted to buy my sweater, but sadly, the stock hasn't come till next sunday!!! damn, so guess i have to wait alil' longer. back to lido again to catch the quite shocking plus scary "samara". exactly what i expected, which is, wasn't that worthy. i give it a 4/10 ratings. ok after the show, head back to tampines while ben and helen alighted at ajunied and mond at tanah merah as he's booking in tonight. the rest went to play soccer as usual but i didn't go cause i still have long hours of school tomorrow!! 8am to 9.30 pm!! what the fuck. stupid makeup lessons. arrghh. this is killing me. work is also gonna start this coming week. hope i can manage.

ok. during today's celebration. i bought alone my digital camera and snapped alot of shots whenever and wherever we went. i can't possibly show all of it here, so i'll just show those with my face only. haha. if u guys want the rest, just msg me and get it from me. ciao~

missed school yesterday due to some shibby sickness which gave me problems sleeping the night before. i only have such little hours of sleep cause my legs were aching like hell. but i managed to wake up early to go to school but ending up going to see the doctor instead. kinda took my own sweet time, stopping at macdonald first for a lil' breakfast. when the clinic i waited finally operates, the doctor would only be here by 9.40am. i was too lazy to wait so i went home to sleep instead. around evening, went to watch a soccer match between keong's class and weitong's class. went to see the doctor first before meeting ben, keong and tong. the match ended up tong's class winning 5-0. took a cab back and to my disaster a.k.a misfortune!! my phone was left on the freaking cab!! i thought luckily i was the first to alight and i figured that the rest would check before alighting and then managed to spot my phone. but to my fear, when i got home and called them, they didn't saw my phone. damnit! i called my number and the taxi driver answered. but sadly, he told me he already had a customer onboard going to town and i had to wait for him to get back at night to meet him to get my phone back. he's willing to return my phone back! thats a good thing. at around 7.30pm, met up with qingan to go interchange and get my pay from century cineplex. i wasn't feel good as the missing of my phone still bothers me and my body is aching like mad. i just hope the uncle really returns me back my precious phone. after i got my pay and depositing, went to airport subway to find the rest. had popeye chicken for dinner and then slacked there till they close shift before making our way back to tampines. finally, it was time for me to meet the taxi uncle to get back my handphone. he wanted a cash reward in return and well, i was thinking since he didn't stole my phone which most people would. might as well gave him some kind of reward. he asked me how much i'm willing to give and i offered 10 bucks. he accepted. so there u go, 10 bucks for the return of my handphone. even though i wasn't quite happy with the loss of my 10 bucks but i'm glad i got my phone back. before making my way home, went to yan's house first to get my bike. and luckily this time, my aching legs doesn't give me problems sleeping but my neck does. it just seems to me now that every part of my body is starting to ache.

and today, woke up to find myself eating my brother's home-cooked roti john. he sure cooked alot and we couldn't finish all of it. to me, it just doesn't taste that nice but alil' bit weird instead. in short, it suck. hahaha. continued playing my game for quite sometime before meeting up with wenyan and tong to go 827 makan. well, i didn't have the appetite to eat and after they finish eating, went fushion as yan wanted to trim her hair abit. really abit!! its like less than 3 mins, waste our time only. then rented some vcds and off to yan's house to watch. in total, we watched 3 vcds straight but anyway, i kinda sleep through half of it. qingan joined us for awhile before leaving as he has some other appointment. now, we're going to have our dinner soon and then to chinmeng's house for soccer watching as per normal. also received a msg from xinyi stating that keong, wenyan and i would be starting work a week later. but i'm still not sure whether its a good thing or anot. its a good thing that i'm gonna get income but my body would be so lazy to work. my mind is just so undecisive now after all the school's stress came in!! arghhh!! weekdays is gonna long hours for me now.

ok one more thing, today is like a boring saturday for me and i expected more out of it. anyway i'm planning to go get a band sweater at image tomorrow and i hope someone is willing to follow me. otherwise i'm so desperate that i would go alone. haa.

oh yeah, forgot to tell you guys that my team got 3rd placing for the sentosa treasure hunt we had a month ago. muahaha. i'm like so proud and we even got a bottle of dove body foam each. credits to the team leader, which is me! haha. just kidding.

ok, today one of my teachers showed us the attendances of all the subjects. and this time, my software engineering attendances has dropped to 41.5%! what the hell man, i really wonder if there is really a mistake with it. i shall verify it with my class advisor soon. i hope i'm right, and the attendance is at least 80%. but even if i'm wrong, i'm ready to go for make up lessons. i've learnt my mistake. haa. no more skipping lesson ever! and i mean it. after school today, went to buy another xbox game, "Doom 3". when i got sick of the game, i just went straight for a nap. woke up to find myself feeling very uncomfortable. i kinda had a headache and have no appetite at all. maybe the game i bought made me feel dizzy or something. when my mom bought home some noodle, i barely ate 1/5 of it. something is just wrong with me. suddenly, i had the urge to vomit. i quickly rushed to the toilet and had the worse vomit of my life. its been so long since i vomitted, and the feeling really suck. i just feel the pain/suffer on my throat, and i just keep vomitting and vomitting. damn, but the after-vomit process sure is relieved. i felt much better then but i still feel a lil' uncomfortable. later still got soccer at 11pm, but i'm still considering whether to go or not. as i'm not feeling right and there's still school tomorrow plus a retest. best is i fall sick tomorrow and don't have to go school at all. haha. dream on....

"as time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life.
the one who i confide was gone in the black of the night.
never will i forget you, and all the memories past.
so rarely i get to see your face.
growing i looked to you in guidance.
we knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me.

to me you was my life.
to me you was my soul companion.
now you are so far away.
nothing can take away the time and the memories we had.
come back; to the days when we were young.
come back; to the days when nothing mattered."

relief to find out that my software engineering attendance was not 51% but instead, its barely 80% if i'm not wrong. so now in total, i have to go for 2 different subject make up lesson; cmaths and software. damnit!! i even missed my VB lesson today cause i totally overslept. now i think it have dropped from 85% to 82%. so that means, most probably i'm gonna get debarred for that. cause there's no make up lesson or whatever for it. i will have to wait till the debar list comes out and appeal. i feel like i'm such a disappointment.

anyway, was out for the cafe interview with keong, weitong, fel and wenyan on monday. most probably we got the job cause the manager say they will inform us on around friday to come collect our uniforms. i still have to go purchase a black pants for the job. if i really got the job, i'm glad i got 2 kakis with me; keong and yan. hope the 3 of us can work together most of the time, otherwise it'd be rather boring without them. ok after the interview and much discussion, we decided to go sim lim towers cause weitong need to buy his school stuff. took a maxi cab there, with a discounted price of 25 bucks for the whole journey. after that, went to bugis street for our western food dinner before heading peninsular for a little walk. finally took a train back while keong and fel stopped at tampines and the rest of us went downtown east for bahgeh's and gang chalet at aranda. the place was fucking huge!! everywhere was aircon!! rowdians, if you're reading this, we should really go book aranda for our next upcoming chalet. so we won't be arguing about whose sleeping on the bed and stuffs. haha. play some rough housing with tong, hock and wenyan while wenyan was the victim. hahaha. stayed till 12+ before taking a cab back home.

tuesday after school, went home to change first before going wenyan house to slack, cause later will be going to the chalet again. had a mini nap and after much waiting, took a cab there as usual with weitong, wenyan and paul. had some fun there over at the chalet with some dai dee, stupid wrestling and stuffs. play till my voice ran out. almost everyone was staying over at the chalet so in the end, i went home with the ones whose having school tomorrow, which is weixian and eric. got to my bed at exactly 1.30am. i cannot stay up too late now, cause i've been so tired for school lately.

"far away, you keep on trying.
holding me down, breaking away,
trying to distance my life.
not one in the crowd, but one with the answers
the one that could change your mind.
but it's not true, i dont know you.
don't waste your time, don't waste mine.
i'm not your friend, i won't soothe your soul.
and in the end, you're all dead to me."

"99 With An Anchor" by A Thorn For Every Heart

I can see the pressures on you,
It's affecting everything you do.
You want out, you want out.

Did you know it tears me in two,
To obsess on everything you lose?
You want out, you want out.

And I'll keep you waiting,
Where this life is so unfair.Y
ou want out, you want out.

Let my fingers around your neck,
Until the shadows are dancing around you now,
Fingers only to track you down.
Waiting for someone to pull you across the rain.

Did this wait for me (I'll let you walk away, right now, right now)
Did this wait for me (I'll take this pain, I'll take this pain from you)
Take this pain from me (Chasing off your wicked suffering)
Take this pain from me (Maybe freeing now)

I'll be to far away from you,
To wonder anything, anything you want.

Everytime I think of you, (Eyes are open)
Eyes are open now. (All the things we've had to do.)
Eyes are open, eyes are open.Did this wait for me (I'll let you walk away, right now, right now)Did this wait for me (I'll take this pain, I'll take this pain from you)
Take this pain from me (Chasing off your wicked suffering)
Take this pain from me (Maybe freeing now)

We all have, we all have someone..
You wanted, you wanted more...

Now..

Everyday, you cry over me.
You said to me, that you can't be left alone
Everything that has come to mind
Will you help you find words... (it's the last time I told you)

Everything you want is over now.

friday:
an unusual rare boring day for me. after school, walked home with keong to buy the game, "Mech Assault: Lone Wolf" and then went home to play. play till around 5+ before going wenyan house to meet qingan, bah geh and tian nee over there. watch the old skool, "Gen X Cops" vcd and then proceed to pavilion to play pool. tian nee went home and later, khia seng and ma toot came to find us. after that, most went home to change first and meet again later for our usual soccer action. i didn't stay long cause i kinda sprained my ankle and i got to work the next day.

saturday:
working as per normal. and i finally got the courage to tell my manager that i'm quitting. it was really easier than i expect it would be. i thought my manager would be unhappy or something. but her reply was like she already sees it coming and couldn't be happier that i left. anyway, i'm happy that i left cause i think i can find some other better jobs around. after work, went to meet tong, paul, qingan, mond, james and wenyan to go clubbing. hahaha. cause it was tet tet's 19th birthday celebration at chinablack. head to tm first to eat and meet with tet tet, kian heng, justin, lawson and lawson's girlfriend. took a train there and waited outside at chinablack before it finally opens at around 9. inside, we started playing some silly games and drinking cause its early and it wasn't crowded. no one was even at the dance floor. finally, after awhile, people started dancing as the place gets crowded, like really freaking crowded. alex, stan and qian yu came soon after. halfway through, we were all down at the dance floor dancing and having fun. its like the first time i seem most of us dancing and even dancing together. hahaha. but i still didn't see james dance. he was sitting there all the while. chinablack was really cool with alot of chicks dancing around. we sure had alot of fun. after hours pass, tet tet got drunk and some were starting to feel tired. weitong even puked. haha. after everyone were sick of the place, we left for supper at 820 but in the end only got me, qingan, kian heng, justin, wenyan and qian yu plus my bro who joined us for a shortwhile cause the rest were either too tired or lazy. heard about my brother's friend, fhame who passed away recently. my deepest condolence. finally laid on my bed at 5am.

sunday:
woke up to find myself being scolded by my mother as a warning letter has been sent to my house. my attendances were really low, especially for software engineering which i got 51.67% for it. damnit, its really fucking low!!! cmaths is 80% and visual basic is 85%. i totally have to buck up!! after the lecture, ate my lunch, play games for awhile and then bath to go to work which was my last day. during the free time, called mr seah to ask him about my attendance and how to improve on it. now, i have to stay back somedays to make up for those lessons that i missed. shit, i hate it but what choice do i have if i don't wanna get debarred. got home then and cook myself 2 packets of curry maggie. the rest were playing soccer but i decided not to join them cause it was late already. luckily i didn't cause it rainned. anyway, since i've quitted my job, plan to go interview tomorrow with keong and yan at a cafe in changi airport. its very close to subway and so, there are some advantages. i'm really starting to feel upset about my attendances. argh!! bless me, my friends.

"cannot take it anymore,
i'm falling faster
and bleeding more than i have bled before.
certain death lingers on the other hand,
but i will fight you
and victory will be mine in the end.
circumstances mean nothing.
when its over,
we will be heros,
constantly pushing forward without any fear."