Symptoms of A Failing Heart

hell yeah.
my computer is back on.
finally.
tomorrow is another big day of work and i can't talk much now.
gotta sleep soon or else i'm gonna doze off or hallucinate while working.
haha.
i'll update soon.
now fuck off.

my throat is in hell of a pain and torture!! got a freaking sore throat again and my phlegm is infected with blood too, just like last time. damn it. i'm coughing heavily everyday like some sick old uncle. its making me so uncomfortable and strepsil doesn't even seem to be of much use. i really hope it gets better by the day, so i can continue eating my favourite junk food. need to buy some more effective throat relief sweets. otherwise this sickness is causing me displeasure in my attachment work.

anyway, today's work seems kinda easy as i expected. learned alil' more stuffs about the high-tech scanner. but most of the time, i'm still sitting duck doing nothing and even have to resort to find and read old newspapers. nearby don't even have a shop which sell newspaper. i think i better get a copy of straits time and some magazine on the way to work tomorrow or i'll really die of boredom overthere. i'm almost doing the same thing over and over again at work just so that my boss won't think i'm useless. well, i think the boss don't even mind if i just sit there and do nothing cause i don't see him complain. except if i log on the internet for too long and use msn cause the connectivity is limited. to me, the company is like a doing-nothing company, maybe because i'm really just a newbie who doesn't know much and efficient to do anything. i don't even know if thats good or bad. still, i'm considered some of the luckier ones as i heard some of my friends still can't get a job for attachment. the companies mostly rejects them, even some who got it, are jobs that mostly not related to the course their studying too. good luck to all of them and me.

finally, after waiting for so long, its knocked off time. was supposed to meet wenyan at kallang mrt station as she'll be passing by and we could go home together. in the end, we bump into each other in the bus instead. then went back tampines to meet qingan, paul, albert and hockang. we took a bus back but only left paul, wenyan and me who went 827 for dinner. weitong came soon after and i got myself 2 new xbox games: 'medal of honor: european assault' and 'grand theft auto: san andreas'. the rest went to wenyan's house for vcd and stuffs while i went home to enjoy my game. had oyster ommelet for post-dinner and i felt it sure gonna contribute bad to my stupid sick throat. and now, after my bro took control of the xbox. i'm here doing going to bath soon and ready to sleep anytime. another day at work tomorrow! damn. i just seems to miss out so much due to work. i want to spend more time with my friends, family. xbox and my bed!!!!

after much excitment, finally the first day of my job came!! i especially woke up early in the morning today to take a bus to the interchange, then mrt to kallang and a bus to the building. i was almost lost as i suppose to alight at the first bus stop which wenyan told me to but i stupidly alight at the second one. walked all the way back and finally found the buidling. luckily, i wasn't late at all. the door was even locked when i arrived. i thought the office was suppose to be operating already so i kept calling my liason officer and the office but no one seems to answer. i waited almost 10 minutes before the first colleuge i met came to unlock the door. ok the office is really small with only around 10 colleuges. almost everyone is FEMALE!, only got 3 guys and they're all bosses. damn. imagine me going out for lunch at the canteen with all aunties. hahahaha. there's no one there which i can really click. its really boring, maybe cause its the first day but i'm already starting to get sick and tired of it. i feel like quitting! i was even so sleepy and almost doze off a few times and the boss was just beside me. i really couldn't take it. the saddest thing is, the computer which i was assigned to, is using a MAC OS system. there's no internet connection for most of the computers!!! one which i know, with a internet connection, is a Windows 98 system and even got msn. BUT the computer is just opposite from the bosses office. the boss can easily find me using msn. fuck fuck shit fuck. i can't decently use msn and internet at all, its like the only thing that could keep me going on. how i wish i could be posted to a larger company instead. i really feel like dying man. shit. i'd rather go back school and study. i was expecting so much out of this company. anyway, there's still quite a few good points about the company. first, the boss and everybody else is actually very nice and friendly. second, the boss has increased my pay from $440 to $600. muahahaha. now that kinda motivates me abit, maybe alot. well, i just need someone there around my age whom i can click, otherwise these 9 weeks is gonna be so hard to survive. i feel so fuck up, sad, weak and useless! i miss all my classmates of it1c!!! it was so much fun back then. i feel that i missed out so much too. like monday was suppose to meet up with rowdians for soccer at tp. i can't seem to meet up with them now, only weekends. arrgghhh..... i need help!!!

tuesday, went to pasir ris interchange with ben and zhenfai as ben was making his lost ezlink. after everything was done, met up with hockang, keong and felki at tampines mrt and we headed to lavender as i was collecting my new passport. it didn't take long and we proceed to beach road to makan and then some shopping. finally found a shop that sell curved rings which we intend to buy for the whole rowdians and keong got himself a new slipper. the ring cost around 19 bucks max. we'll be coming back on saturday to get some samples for them to try. finally, we got the right bus and took to bugis. zhenfai bought a pair of clothes and keong with a pair of ear studs. and at last i realised that my other 2 piercing haven't closed yet. muahaha. we walk around there alil' bit more before we walk towards suntec city. we mostly went in the sports shop to see some stuffs. its been long since we all walk and shop for so long. haa. had dinner at kfc before we all went back home by mrt.

wednesday, woke up late for school as i was supposed to reach by 10am for the IAP briefing. thank god, one of my classmates called me and told me that it postponed to 12pm. due to the time gap, i met up with afiq, shirhan, ghaz, iklash, yusman and shait at S-11 for a lil' lunch. got back to school and we still got to wait for some time before we know which company we were posted. finally, i was posted to Procast Graphics Pte Ltd alone. it was located at kallang bahru and i guess the first day, if i really cannot find it, i would have to take a cab there. i guess its a small company as i can't seem to find it on the internet. hope its a easy job and i hope this company only wants me to work 5 days a week as other companies may need to work 5 and a half day. i'm feeling so excited and thrill about it. can't wait till monday where i start work at 9am. but i'm still so sad that the holidays is gonna be over soon. DAMN IT. after i got home from school, took a nap before meeting albert and tiannee at 8pm at changi airport's subway. qingan and ben was working and wenyan came to find us soon after. had dinner at popeye's as usual and it sure was delicious! slack there till about 11+pm when they got off from work and i head back home to sleep.

thursday, stay home the whole day just to watch naruto. my eyes were like stuck to the computer screen for hours. only took a small break where i made myself some ramen. at night, went 844 to had dinner with my mom, bro and his gf. bumped into keong over there too. after dinner, went to rent dvd and bought some stuffs at YES supermarket. it my favourite spot there as i get to spend on great, delicious foods without paying. hehe. went home to continue on my naruto and finally slept early at 12am. maybe cause tomorrow, we'll be going kbox to sing our lungs out and have to meet early.

today, met up with albert and weitong. then went to find the rest of the rowdians at kbox. we sang for a few hours as usual and it was so fun, except that most of the time, we're singing chinese songs which i skipped. the english songs there just suck. they don't have any new ones or even the emocore kind i wanted. hahahaha. after kbox, had dinner at macdonald's as there was this buy 2 EVM and get 1 free promotion. i shared with ben but i still feel hungry after that. it really wasn't enough for me. anyway, hell i'm really gonna make use of this promotion which last until this sunday. after dinner, walk around tm and bought a new soccer ball and then play cs at pavilion till about 10.30pm before going back central park for soccer. i went home first as i need to change. finally after the rest of the rowdians came, we started our usual soccer. this time around, the police came just the first 10 mins through the game. we had no choice but to stop for awhile and continue like 30 mins later. after hours of playing, at last we stopped and went 7-11 to slack for awhile. now, i just got back home not long ago. ready to sleep any moment now cause its another big day tomorrow. gotta go down beach road to borrow the samples for the ring we intend to make. 1 RING TO RULE THEM ALL! hope everyone support this awesome idea and better make sure they get their cash ready by sunday. haha.

well, i notice that some and most people who blog just post only some of their everyday life and more of their feelings and stuffs. it just seems so different. while i, post almost every little details of my everyday life and thats it. i wonder if its good or bad, maybe i'm just too talkative. haha. i just want everyone to know all the funs that i've had. also, most of the other people sure can use and type their english well, unlike me. mine is almost all the same for every post. simple and plain. hahaha. but anyway, i don't give a shit.

"Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold

"He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man"

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.
I tried to drive all through the night,
the heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights.
No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me.

[Chorus:]
Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights.
My hand is on the trigger I'm ready to ignite.
Tomorrow might not make it but everything's all right.
Mental fiction follows me; show me what it's like to be set free.

[Chorus]

So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.
These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today.

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
we look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but most just pass us by,
don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right.
I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man.

[Chorus]

So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.
I've known it from the start all these good ideas will tear your brain apart.
Scared but you can follow me I'm too weird to live but much too rare to die.

alright, been busy these whole weeks and barely got time to update. so now i suppose i finally got some time to. oh yeah, i also got the delivery of the packet of 10 ONE wristband. 10 ONE to rule them all. 10 ONE to find them all. 10 ONE to bring them all and in the darkness, bind them. 1 for the horny hock, 1 for the tiny eyes albert, 1 for the white tong, 1 for the egg queen yan, 1 for the childish chee, 1 for the coconut keong, 1 for the crazy laughter felki, 1 for the bitch ghazali and 2 for the very own senget.

ok on friday, was mostly playing my xbox for the whole afternoon cause i bought myself some new games. well, every week theres a new game. haa. then went down to joined qingan, weitong, albert and sharon for dinner at 820. watched the final episode of "from zero to hero" at the coffeeshop. then proceed for soccer as usual, only that we play early today. after more people came and play, we had no choice but to transferred over to hockey court and play. finally the police arrived, took a note of our ics and told us to go home. we went 7-11 to talk cock abit before we all went back. these days my bro kept bringing home his gf. erm more like EVERYDAY. and its a total disadvantage and tragedy for me. i can't use the computer till late and rowdee gotta sleep with me. DAMN. this is so not fair!

saturday, play xbox again and finally when i got hungry, made myself a pizza and then went down to have lunch with qingan, weitong, khiaseng, dick, chinmeng and wenyan at 827. of course, i didn't eat again. went to singapore pools after that to buy some 4D. then went home first to take my external hard disk to go wenyan's house to slack and stuffs. most were playing mahjong while i was either watching naruto or playing games. finally at about 12pm, went down central park to play soccer together with the rest. this time, the police was early and we had no choice but to go home early.

sunday, my mom woke us all up as we'll be going for lunch at some shop at macpherson. it was delicious and its been long since the whole family went for lunch, somemore with a new addition to the family. then came back home and i went 844 to meet with qingan, desmond, weitong and wenyan for lunch. then was back to wenyan's house with paul and jason joining us soon after. the rest were mahjong again and i was watching naruto. at around 8, went 824 to have western dinner plus james joining us. then it was soccer again, this time it was really early as theres still light. hahaha. i went home to change first before going down again with my bro, his gf and rowdee. its feel like years ago when we were playing in the light. it was much easier and of course, we all play well. after the lights were off, i went home soon with hock and dick.

today, just woke up not long ago and at 5pm, it would be soccer again at tp. we've been like playing soccer for the consecutive 4th day. my knee is hurting again and i hope its not that bad. ok think i'm gonna make myself some food first before playing my xbox and wait for the time to fly. cause i'm fucking bored now! holidays are gonna be over soon for me and attachment is coming! fuck. i hope i get a good company cause i'm such a lazy ass. oh ya, still gotta go back school on wednesday for the briefing. and also to get my passport tomorrow. busy week.

yesterday was one of the shittest day of my life. at around 2pm, i was out having lunch at 827 with weitong, qingan, albert and black. after that, some went back to school and some went for work, and i was heading to lavender to renew my expired passport. i was going alone and just when i aboard the bus, realised that my ez link had a -0.35 cent in it, and so i used my coins. then, went to top up $10 on my ezlink at the machine and just when i was about to enter the control station. it didn't work, i tried many times and the same result. so i went to check with the person and found out that my card has spoilt. damn, it just work 1 minute ago and suddenly its faulty!! i don't believe it. as i've got no choice, i have to go to pasir ris mrt to change my ezlink. so i wasted $0.80 for the standard ticket to go there. have to wait for it to be changed but i was running out of time cause the ica building close early. and also, the problem is, i was afraid i don't have enough cash to go there and i didn't bring so much cash and my atm was short on cash too. i quickly phoned alot of people for help but it all go in vain cause most of them were either busy or didn't answer. just when i was so desperate IN NEED OF HELP, NO HELP CAME. i was too lazy to waste this whole trip so i continue on to lavender instead. i thought by the time i reach there, some of them could have replied me by then and transfer money to me. i was wrong. anyway, i told the person i would come back later for the ezlink and bought another standard ticket which cost $1.40 to go lavender. luckily there was this promotion which i could renew my passport online to save time and $7. so why the hell not? so queue up first to take my passport photo. after that, the procedure for the renewing sure is fast. less than 2 minutes and i was out. but need to come back again on saturday to collect my new passport.

ok. luckily i still got a few cash with me and it was barely enough for me to make it back to tampines. otherwise i would have been trapped in lavender. so i bought the $1.40 ticket to go back pasir ris to collect my ezlink. i was so happy to reach there and realised that my ezlink which initially have $9.00+ inside, now has only $1.25 in it!! well, thats what the person told me. i was like "what the fuck?" i just topped it up. she told me if i had the receipt and if not, theres nothing much i could do. damn, who the fuck keep receipts? i was pissed. what a day. she also said she used the $1 to activate the card and so i'm now left with $0.25 plus a few of my own money. that day sure wasn't my day. FUCK IT.