Symptoms of A Failing Heart

saturday:
been on a shopping spree to prepare for chinese new year. went to far east to buy matchbook romance, a7x, underoath tees and alexisonfire belt buckle (i fucking love it!) from image 2001 with hock and my bro. it totally cost me around 160 bucks for them all. finally got a lil' discount and free sample cd from the owner. intend to meet the rest of rowdians after we've done with our shopping cause we were actually suppose to shop together but i and my bro left home early. but due to my early reunion dinner, i have to go my grandma house and decide to meet them later. just walked home with them when we met at the interchange. went home to change for the soccer session later at around 11pm. play till late midnight with the police chasing us away. then went home to change again to go 700+ for our late supper. went back home to sleep at around 4.30am. anyway, it was quite a satisfying day as i've won some money from the soccer betting.

sunday:
went bugis and then peninsular with tong, qingan, dick, kuku, yan, peggie and sharon for yet another mini shopping. took our aura imaging again, and my aura is still fucking RED. this time, i can't even see my face. damn i guess i'm really too stressful and emotional inside. shibby. I REALLY NEED TO RELEASE ALL OF THEM OUT!! fuck! arrggg... anyway, the rest bought their stuffs with me buying a fake atticus tee. haha. then went back to tm to met up with keong and felki. finally bought my 501 levi jeans together with tong for the 25% off. but can't get it alter due to the large amount of orders so i have to bring it somewhere else and get it done. i wonder where? ok i'm planning to buy a new black leather belt or another stud belt so i can put my belt buckle onto it cause my old one is totally getting suckier by the day. hope i can get that soon.

today:
school totally suck except for the dragon boat we had today. before leaving for kallang, haikal emofied my hair with his wax. i can see its totally cool and i'm gonna style it again sometime soon, maybe tomorrow. haha. WATER, TIREDNESS, SWEAT is all what we got from the dragon boat activity. it was really fun with all the things we learned and stuffs. i'm sure i'm gonna do it again sometime. anyway we got third for the mini race but i'm already freakin' proud of my class. we fucking rocks! muahaha. still, i'm getting cramps all over my fingers. now i know how tough dragon boat is. after the activity, walked to kallang stadium to bath/change and then went to eat mac with keong and his classmates. came back to tm to find some stuffs with my gayman, keong before leaving home. hahaha.

alright thats about it. u can stop reading now mother fuckers. ciao.

i've just came back from wenyan's house from some vcd watching, "Meet The Parent". its still so hilarious even when i've saw that countless times before. later at 11.30pm they're still playing soccer but i'm not so sure if i'm going, cause i'm like so tired and theres still school tomorrow. i've skipped too much school recently and i can't afford to skip another. damn what should i do. guess i'll pass.

anyway, tomorrow's a big day, besides the 4 hours of lesson with the same lame teacher. u know, the way he teaches, man,u can really fall asleep. and thats what i'm planning to do! hahaha. ok the big thing tomorrow is that, there's chalet!! woohoo. its a chalet by peggie for her 19th birthday. i've been waiting for chalet for so long. finally i can get to relax from all the school's work and stuffs. i just hope tomorrow lessons end fast and i'm a total free man for the whole weekend! i'm planning to get all my new years clothes by this week but i'm kinda short of cash now. i just need my friends to return me the money i loaned asap and just hope, today i would win some cash from the soccer betting cause i've already lost 20 bucks yesterday. damnit. i swear i'm not gonna bet again. i hate to lose money, i rather keep it tight.

alright thats all for day. just hope god let me win back my money! please......

i've been so busy with school and stuffs lately. so i'm just gonna recap some of the things i did this "long" weekend:

Thursday
-the day when mond came out from NS, finally saw him since 2 weeks ago.
-was suppose to play pool at pavilion but due to the crowd, went to take a stroll at tm instead.
-then went to the airport subway with qingan, mond, chinmeng, james, kuku and wenyan cause qingan and james had midnight shift and we were escorting paul and tong back home.

Friday
-pappa roti is fucking delicious!
-met up with mond, wenyan and peggie to play pool while tiannee went home.
-then came qingan, chinmeng and james.
-play arcade for awhile before qingan and james went to work, as usual.
-watched "Elektra" with the rest plus paul and tong.
(the show wasn't that bad but the bad guys sure die fast. haha)

Saturday
-made our way to beach road with tong, qingan, james, chinmeng, mond, paul, wenyan, peggie and tian nee for awhile cause mond needs to buy some of his ns equipment.
-then proceed to simei for some pool action, again.
-after that, went to chinmeng house for some live soccer matches.
-stayed there for awhile before going clubbing with haikal, ghaz, iklash. hahaha.
-it was my first time clubbing and we went to Hendrix (now changed to Queenz bar or something) at boat quay, costed 25 bucks for the entrance.
-ghaz's friends, ain and claire came later and slowly i got to know them. they're freaking good at dancing. HOT.....
-alright the place was so crowded and at one time, we had to queue for quite some time just to get back in. the dance floor was full of people. my shoes were so damn dirty due to some stepping.
-it was also the first time i "learned" how to dance to the beat man. haha its fuck up and i totally suck in it.
-drinking and dancing was what we did all night long, some got drunk while i stay sober cause i don't drink much. haha.
-finally left the place at 6am cause it was closing time.
-searched high and low for a taxi and in the end, reached home at 7am.
-clubbing sure wasted me alot of my cash. i could have bought band's tee with that amount,
-damnit.

Sunday
-slept till late afternoon.
-sent mond back to tekong with qingan and wenyan at around 7.40pm.
-went to airport subway again to find paul and tong (they had some pretty tight arguement).
-finally got a chance to eat popeye's chicken over there. it was pretty lame cause they're like short of everything like colesaw, fish, ice and alot more. it freaking costed 5.85 + 1.50 bucks.
-luckily the food still satisfy me or else i'm gonna complain the shit out of them cause the service sure suck.
-overall, its some pretty nice food. so go for it, boys and girls.
-learned to use the cashier counter at subway from wenyan, damn i'm like a trainee now. haha.
-saw some sick porno pictures left by one subway customer. HAHAHAHA.
-then went back tampines for some night soccer action as usual and finally came back home at 2am.
-damn i still got school the next day.
-fuck.

Monday
-skipped the first and last lesson of school. muahaha.
-got a call from the teacher asking why i skipped her lesson. shibby.
-ate dinner with jason, ben, qingan, tong, hock and wenyan.
-cycled to cs alone to buy fax machine's ink and dog food.
-came home and went out again to take stuffs from my dudes.
-got scolded/nagged by melvin for not joinning them for basketball. damn, again.
-tried out the new game, A3, recommended by tong.
-anyway i'll be in bed soon.
-school sucks!
-muahahaha

break open this weaken chest,
and pulls out this broken heart of mine.
erase my name from this page.
things shouldn't be this way.
this isn't how its supposed to be.
WHY... TELL ME WHYyyyy...
can't you see the fire that burns from my heart.
you are all i can see.
i can't forget your face.
i can't forget what you've said.
i can't erase the memory.
the world means nothing to me without you.
this shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
everything i wished never came true.
IT NEVER DID!!
if broken is easily fixed,
it can never be my heart.
you'll never be replaced.
so take this broken heart and make it right.
dead; would best describe me.
kill me now, kill me now.
i fall from your eyes, your eyes i trusted,
you said forver.
losing you wasn't what i had in mind.
and now its all coming back.
COMING BACK to me!!!
you are so good at taking your time to come back to me.
it scares me to think,
that you would find takers other than me, better than me.
is this really happening?
i fall asleep tonight cause that brings me closer to you.
"please don't leave me" was all i could think of.
its clear to see,
the purpose of my existance is laying infront of me.
would you hold my hand like you used to.
please take my hand and never let me go.
promise me.
you'll never LET GO!!!
NEVER LET GO!!!
NEVER LET GO!!!
YOU'LL NEVER LET GO!!
make this last forever.....
no matter how far i go,
no matter how much it hurts,
MY HEART REMAINS WITH YOU.
it always will.

another glorious victory for rowdees today. we've defeated the bunch of losers a.k.a fuck up opponent at a scoreline of 3-2. wahaha. credits to ks' bro, ben and also, ME who scored the final last goal which totally KICKED THEIR MOFO ASS. u just have to see the look on their faces! muahaha. they shouldn't have fuck around with us even when their big size. anyway, the field there wasn't that worth it cause when the ball flies over, you'll have a very hard time finding the ball. evenmore, its at TURF CLUB!! we have to actually wake up early to take a cab (as we don't really know how to go there) and reach there by 9. the distance walking to the field from the "entrance" is really very long. just ask hock or ks. haha. eventually this made a big hole in all our pockets due to the expensive field which is 100 bucks!! and the cab fare. ok after the match, all of us went to eat at a near by coffee shop. then all of them took a cab home while me, my bro, hock, ks and his bro all took a bus to clementi interchange instead and then take a mrt back to tampines.

well, now i'm back home, just woke up from my mini nap. gotta go out again sometime later to watch SINGAPORE vs INDONESIA. POWER TO SINGAPORE!!! woohoo...

well, i'm back to school already and its been already 4 days. ok school was far worse than i expected cause our class schedule is now so totally shitty. can u imagine? monday from 8am to 4pm, tuesday 8am to 5pm, wed from 8am to 3pm, thur from 8am to 3pm and fri 8am to 12pm. everyday starts at 8!! how the damn hell am i gonna wake up. fortunately, there was suppose to be school on every sat from 8am to 10am but it was cancelled. PHEW~ anyway, i'm glad i get to see my classmates once again cause we always have so much fun together, alright that sounded gay. nevertheless, a blessing for me to have such a wonderful class and i just hope that when i get to year 2, i still gets to see some old friends.

alright after school today, went to tampines stadium with khairi to buy the final tickets for tiger cup finals but sadly, the students tickets had all sold out and left only with the adults which cost 7 bucks! i'd rather stay home and watch. so too bad i can't go there to support my country. after that, went to meet qingan and then back to junyuan sec to play soccer with albert and others. luckily we didn't get caught or something. haha cause its been so long since i went back. play for an hour or so before making my way home. anyway, i've just came back from playing basketball with xiaogui at tampines changkat cc. just had my dinner and now, i'm so freaking tired with my feet all blistered. i really need to LOSE WEIGHT!!! i'm so fucking fat!!! fuck fuck shit fuck. i need to go gym!! i need to go jog!! and bloody hell i need to exercise!! arrggg... fatness overwhelms me! but i'm just so plain lazy. somebody help me.....

i fucking love this song

"Juneau" by Funeral For a Friend

tied to the testing of wills, where my heart breaks and spills
left to the sight of the sky, in your arms i'm defined
thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
(in the minds of your enemies)
and i'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness

if this is what i'm meant for, no longer interesting
fall forward just to even the score
just a thought to you

tied to the testing of wills, where my heart breaks and spills
left to the sight of the sky, in your arms i'm defined
thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
(in the minds of your enemies)
and i'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness

and i'm nothing more than a line in your book
and i'm nothing more than a line in your book
and i'm nothing more than a line in your book
and i'm nothing more than a line in your book..........
in your book.....
in your book.....

if this is what i'm meant for, no longer interesting
fall forward just to even the score
just a thought to you

JUST! A! THOUGHT! TO! YOU!
JUST! A! THOUGHT! TO! YOU!

and i'm nothing more than a line in your book
and i'm nothing more than a line in your book
and i'm nothing more than a line in your book

I STILL GOT SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK!!! I HATE SCHOOL. i even got school on saturday. what the fuck man. damnit.

yesterday was a very big day for mond; our rowdee's toughest son of a biatch cause he'll be leaving us for NS for like 9 weeks. we'll gonna miss him. on friday, we had a farewell dinner for him at seoul garden with 18 people turning up (me, alex, ben, hock, yuan, chee, meng, qingan, james, jason, dick, tong, fai, mond, paul, yan, tiannee and peggie). one of the rare rowdees' excursion that so many would actually turned up! awesome. ok we ate so much stuffs, talked craps and lots of photo taking. tiannee was the most emotional one, as she was crying most of the time. she's even more emo than me. awh..... after the meal, met up with albert and went to pavilion to play cs while some of those who don't play, went down to play pool. after that, went to play some soccer but it was rainning, so kinda spoilt the whole game. anyway, we all had our shares of fun, it was a totally GREAT DAY.

on saturday, i didn't really do much but slack and play game at home. totally boring until at night, went to meet up with qingan, jason, james and meng for dinner and then some soccer watching at meng's house. singapore won 3-1!!!! damn they're good. hahaha. after more matches, went down to play soccer for awhile before making my way home. also, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to KEONG KEONG!! damn i just turned 18 not long ago and now he's 19.

and today, about the same old thing. met up with tong in the afternoon as he wanted to change the "MOH: Pacific Assault" i bought for him cause got problem installing. we cycled to the interchange to get it change and came back to buy my LAN card and his 256 DDR RAM. we then went home to fixed our computer and all turn out well except the game he exchanged still has problem. so this time, we took a cab there instead and then proceed to wenyan's house to meet paul. we ate alil' bit, watched some vcds and tv before going macdonald for our dinner. tried the new twist fries and beef burger and it tasted well. u guys should try. after that, we all just went home. i've been so moody nowadays. I MISS HER!! arrggg.....

alright, below are some of the photos we took at seoul garden. enjoy mother fuckers!
p.s. : weitong is now officially our rowdees' NO.1 fuck up face. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

men in black 

another weitong's fuck up face plus mond act cute 

look at ben's eyes. cool isn't it 

chucky-wannabes 

13, 26 and 5 

mond is busy taking photo with everyone 

what the... haha 

sexy baby! look how sexy it really is. damn im jealous 

rowdees for life 

13, 5 and 18 

tiannee, yan, peggie and desmond 

wt fuck up face again.wahaha 

i've been rather busy these days. went to orchard today with ben, qingan and mond then met up chinmeng over at orchard's control station. he's been waiting there for us for like an hour. muahaha. stopped at far east's long john for lunch and then to image 2001 for my shopping. i was alone in there searching endlessly for band's t-shirt while the rest went elsewhere to shop as those wasn't their type. haha. after a long search, finally bought a silver silverstein tee and a black further seems forever tee. damn it costed me 77 bucks in total but i'm sure its fucking worth it. they're my PRECIOUSssss... now. cause its like the first time in my life to buy such expensive clothes. i'm sure gonna go back there soon cause i still have alot of band's t-shirt in my mind like underoath, emery, a static lullaby, ffaf and tbs cause most didn't have my size. the new stock would be coming around feb, so i'm gonna starting saving cash now. i still got to buy a black trucker cap and anyone wanna buy for me?!?!?! MACBETH LONDON SHOE!!! PLEASE..... i'll be your slave forever. wahahaha. this i swear.

alright, now i'm gonna go cycling with a few rowdians. ciao guys ~

woohoo!! its the YEAR 2005 already. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE. i've been rather busy actually. was at kbox sceaming out lungs out from 3pm to 8pm with hock, mond, bert, ben, dick, meng, tiannee and peggie. after that, hock, dick and tiannee went home to eat while the rest headed to kfc for dinner AGAIN( i've been eating so much fried and chicken recently. damn, i'm gonna get fatter or something). then met up with ron at tm as we went for a lil' shopping spree. ended up only meng, bert and ron bought stuffs only and i'm planning to buy a levi's jean soon. muahaha. after the shopping, ron went home and we made our way to central park to meet up with tong and yan but ben went home as he needs to work later on . play some soccer there with matoot and gang. the clock struck 12am when we were there playing. therefore, our countdown for 2005 was like playing soccer. haha rather lame. soon after that, the 7 of us plus paul went to pasir ris park to slack. rest there for quite sometimes before heading to maze for some excitment but it was that freaky or scary as i expected. after more walking, finally took a cab and go straight home. alright thats mostly what we all did for the first day of 2005. haha, wasn't really much i expected but i'm rather satisfied already. damn, my HEART ITCH so much! ARGGG!!! I'M NOT OKAY (I PROMISE)!!